Spir Dynamics 541-589 3/5/95

MARRIAGE (Part 4)

A. Introduction.

1. Stability in the human race depends on stability in marriage. Stability in a nation comes from stability in marriage. The breakdown of marriage destroys a client nation from within. Stabilized areas of history always reflect stability in the home. The divine institution of marriage is provided by God for the stability of the human race as well as its preservation.

2. The man has the authority in marriage. The man’s authority in marriage does not call for any kind of bullying. If a man uses force to exert his authority in marriage, then he becomes a loser all the way. If the woman rejects the man’s authority in marriage, then she becomes a loser all the way.

3. Both parties in marriage must take the responsibility for their decision to get married. Marriage is not a problem solving device. Marriage is a problem manufacturing device. No one has ever solved their problems by getting married.

4. No pastor should ever counsel women under any circumstances. The purpose of the gift of pastor-teacher is to communicate the doctrine of marriage to a group and then let people make their own decisions in the privacy of their priesthood. Marriage is a private matter. It is not the responsibility of the pastor to counsel women, that is the job of the older women.

5. Personal love for God the Father and impersonal love for all mankind are the basis for the greatest possible love and the only true love in history. True love is virtue. The capacity and motivation for all love comes from virtue.

6. The believer cannot think, apply doctrine, or solve problems through the mind of another person. The privacy of the believer’s royal priesthood is the sphere for doctrinal conceptualism. When the believer depends on others for guidance or counseling, he contradicts the system of grace cognition designed by God for execution of the protocol plan for the Church. Depending on others for guidance and counseling is tantamount to denying the privacy of your own priesthood, and the right to accept or reject the doctrine, and the right to apply that doctrine from the inventory of doctrine circulating in his own stream of consciousness. From this inventory of doctrine in the stream of consciousness, we have application to friendship, romance, and marriage.

a. We are designed through regeneration to live our lives through doctrine resident in our souls. Other persons cannot solve our problems for us. The universal priesthood of the believer demands that we employ the four spiritual mechanics of the protocol plan of God as a part of your own portfolio of invisible assets. The exception is problems that require medical help.

b. There are six principles of application.

(1) Application without truth is false.

(2) Application without fact is folly.

(3) Application from emotion is irrationality.

(4) Application from arrogance is distortion.

(5) Application without doctrine is spiritual decline into the status of loser believer.

(6) Application without virtue is not true love.

c. Failure for the believer in marriage is failure of your spiritual life. Believers are no better in marriage than they are in the function of their own spiritual life. The categories of failure include the arrogance complex of sins and the emotional complex of sins. The protection from failure is the tandem problem solving devices of personal love for God the Father and impersonal love for all mankind.

7. Impersonal love is a virtue. Personal love is virtue dependent. Personal love for God provides the motivation for virtue and integrity in impersonal love. Impersonal love for all mankind provides the capacity for personal love inside the integrity envelope.

a. Impersonal love excludes emotion. Emotion is not a tool of cognition, nor is it a criteria for life. You never grow up, when you make emotion the criterion of your life.

b. Personal love emphasizes the subject, impersonal love emphasizes the object. Personal love is conditional. Impersonal love is unconditional. Conditional love does not have virtue. Personal love is directed toward a few. Impersonal love is directed toward all. Personal love gravitates to attractiveness of the object. Impersonal love includes all persons as the object, no matter how obnoxious. Personal love is virtue dependent. Impersonal love is based on the honor and integrity attained in the deployment of the tandem problem solving devices. Personal love is minus virtue. Impersonal love is plus virtue. Personal love is virtue dependent for effectiveness in marriage. Impersonal love is the capacity for personal love in marriage.

c. Impersonal love inserts virtue, honor, and integrity into personal love, providing motivation, capacity, veracity, validity, and reality. Impersonal love is the problem solving device for marriage. Personal love is hamstrung by arrogance and emotion. Personal love is optional. Impersonal love is mandated by God.

8. Marriage is not a panacea. Marriage is not a solution to the problems of life. Marriage is a problem manufacturing device. People enter marriage, thinking that marriage will solve all their problems and bring happiness. Complications arise when each spouse expects the other partner to solve their problems. This intensifies problems and results in disaster. Each mate unloads his problems on the other and expects the other to do something about it.

9. In marriage, each partner can only change himself. No one can ever change someone else. People are no better in marriage than they are as people. Believers who fail to execute the protocol plan of God as single believers will fail to execute the protocol plan of God as married believers. Only the problem solving devices deployed on the FLOT line of the soul can change an individual in marriage. No bullying or nagging will ever accomplish what only the four spiritual mechanics can accomplish. Marriages fail because people are failures as human beings. Marriages fail because Christians marry for the wrong reasons, Christians marry the wrong person. Christians enter marriage totally unprepared spiritually to handle their disappointments, their frustrations, their disillusions.

10. Marriage is not designed for happiness, but for virtue, and virtue is designed for happiness. You cannot change your spouse, you can only change yourself. Marriage is more than finding the right person. Marriage is being the right person.

a. People without virtue lust for wealth without honor.

b. People without virtue lust for success without integrity.

c. People without virtue lust for promotion without ability.

d. People without virtue lust for approbation without achievement.

e. People without virtue lust for love without virtue.

f. People without virtue lust for marriage without happiness.

11. Personal love is optional. Impersonal love is mandated. Personal love has no virtue, anyone can fall in love.

a. 1 Jn 3:23, “Furthermore, we have this mandate that we believe in the person of His Son Jesus Christ and that we love each other as He commanded.”

b. 1 Jn 4:7, “Let us love one another because virtue love is from God.” c. 1 Jn 4:10-11, “In this is love, not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent His Son to be a propitiation for our sins. Beloved, if God so loved us, we ought to love one another.”

d. 1 Jn 4:19-21, “We love, because He first loved us. If someone alleges, `I love God’ and yet hates his fellow believer, he is a liar; for he who does not love his fellow believer, whom he has seen, does not love God whom he has not seen. Furthermore we have this mandate from Him, that he who loves God should also love his fellow believer.”

12. The basis for stability in marriage is found in the authority of the husband under two divine institutions—marriage and the family.

a. There are four great divine institutions as a part of the laws of divine establishment. A divine institution is for both believers and unbelievers alike.

(1) The first divine institution is volition, the basis for freedom, the basis for growing up, the basis for a sense of responsibility in human beings. You have to take the responsibility for your decisions good or bad. Your life is determined by your volition and values.

(2) The second divine institution is marriage. Both must take the responsibility for the decision they make to get married. The system of happiness in marriage is based on discovering and understanding that the authority in marriage belongs to the man.

(3) The third divine institution is the family. The mother joins the father in having authority over the children.

(4) The forth divine institution is government.

b. The success of the marriage is the spiritual lives of the believers. Bible doctrine has to be number one as far as your values.

13. Virtue Love in Marriage.

a. 1 Jn 4:19, “We love, because He first loved us.”

(1) The tandem problem solving devices (personal love for God the Father and impersonal love for all mankind) are directly related to love.

(2) Motivated by personal love for God the Father inside the integrity envelope, husbands are to love their wives just as Christ also loved the Church and gave Himself as a substitute for her.

(3) Virtue love should always be leadership love. The difference between a great leader and a lousy leader is the difference between arrogance and humility. Leadership always demands concern for those under your command. Too many leaders are users of other people. Virtue love in leadership always looks out for those under your authority and always has the best interest of those under your command in mind. Machoism is not leadership at all. Machoism is arrogance.

(4) This verse establishes the principle for all true love as over against pseudo love. God loved us first. Personal love is only a virtue when directed toward God, and it can only be a virtue under certain circumstances when directed toward mankind.

(5) Personal love for God the Father is motivational virtue of the protocol plan of God for the Church. The virtue of personal love is always found in the object of love. When God, who is perfect, is the object of our personal love, our personal love has virtue. When you love someone who has virtue, you come to share that virtue.

(6) When the believer is occupied with Christ, this is the ultimate in the spiritual life and the ultimate in virtue. When the believer is occupied with Christ, then his personal love has virtue.

b. 2 Cor 13:14, “The grace of our Lord Jesus Christ, and the love for God [the Father], and the fellowship of the Holy Spirit, be with all of you.”

(1) Each person of the Trinity has a ministry to you by which you will use the problem solving devices.

(2) Love for God the Father is our motivation. The grace of our Lord Jesus Christ is occupation with Christ. Fellowship with the Holy Spirit is the filling of the Spirit.

c. Rom 5:5, “And confidence does not disappoint us, because the love for God has been poured out in our hearts through the agency of the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.”

14. The Three Laws of Marriage.

a. The first divine rule for marriage is the responsibility of the man.

(1) Eph 5:25, “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself as a substitute for her.”

(a) God does not assign the role of leadership in marriage without also assigning extra responsibility. The extra responsibility of the husband’s leadership is the deployment of the tandem problem solving devices on the FLOT line of the soul. The authority of the man must be exercised through leadership. The leadership of the man is personal love inside the integrity envelope of personal love for God the Father and impersonal love for all mankind. True human love is always located inside the integrity envelope. Human personal love only has validity inside the integrity envelope.

(b) This command demands the deployment of the tandem problem solving devices on the FLOT line of the soul. The husband is commanded to have personal love for God the Father and impersonal love for all mankind. Personal love only has virtue inside the integrity envelope of virtue love.

(d) Our Lord Jesus Christ used impersonal love for all mankind as the device to handle the problem of bearing our sins and being judged for them. Husbands are to use the same problem solving device. The greatest possible illustration that could ever be given is given to marriage.

(2) Col 3:19, “Husbands, love your wives, and stop being bitter against them.”

(a) Most of the failures in marriage are a result of mental attitude sins. Bitterness is a combination of arrogance and emotion. Bitterness in marriage results in the rapid decline from spiritual adulthood to loser believer. Bitterness destroys any possibility of a successful marriage, when the man is bitter against the woman he married. You cannot entertain jealousy without flipping the other side of the coin to bitterness. Bitterness consolidates denial and projection.

(b) Bitterness in marriage means that your personal love is outside of the integrity envelope. No one can have jealousy and bitterness and at the same time capacity for true love.

b. The second divine rule for marriage is the responsibility of the woman.

(1) Eph 5:22-24, “Wives, submit yourselves to the authority of your own husbands, as to the Lord, because the husband is the head [ruler] of the wife, just as Christ also is the head [ruler] of the church, He Himself is the Savior of the body. But as the church is subordinate to Christ, so also wives are under the authority of their husbands in all things.”

(a) The wife, even more so, has to be inside the integrity envelope. To respond to the authority of some husbands is one of the greatest tests in life for the woman. If the wife enters into resentment, her spiritual life is over until she rebounds and keeps moving.

(b) Both husband and wife must deploy the tandem problem solving devices on the FLOT line of the soul. Both the husband and the wife must be motivated by impersonal love for all mankind. The woman has the same opportunity as the man to execute the protocol plan of God. The divine mandate to the woman demands that she live inside the integrity envelope.

© The wife’s recognition and obedience to her husband’s authority cannot be enforced by bullying, by brutality, by abusiveness, or by bashing. No lady will ever respond to that kind of arrogant treatment. Her recognition and obedience to his authority is based on being inside the integrity envelope. The woman is under the authority of the man. There is no equal partnership in marriage.

(d) Respect is the highest form of virtue love the woman can have for the man. There is nothing greater than a woman’s love for a man, where she is not mandated to love him. Respect is admiration and approbation combined with deference and partiality, so that the object of such esteem occupies a special place in the soul of the believer. Admiration and approbation is her love. Deference and partiality is her obedience. The woman is not only different bodily, but she is also different from the man in her soul.

i. The Greek verb HUPOTASSO means to subject oneself to the authority of someone. The husband, therefore, is the leader.

ii. The woman is a responder, and was designed at creation to respond to the man. If she does not respond where authority exists, she becomes a reactor. When a woman reacts, it is often because the husband has no leadership concept, does not have the right motivation, or he may be an abuser. To be a responder in love requires the highest form of virtue in the human race.

(e) It is important for the woman to be under the authority of their own husbands because women have a tendency to fall in love with their lawyers, doctors, ministers, or anyone else who is in contrast to their daily routine of living with their husband. There is transference away from the husband to an admiration for someone who is not their own husband.

(f) The divine mandate demands that the wife must also function in the integrity envelope, formed from the deployment of the tandem problem solving devices. Her motivation to respond comes from personal love for God the Father and her impersonal love for all mankind is the capacity to respond.

(g) The wife who gives respect to her husband gives the highest form of love response, because it is love response in the soul. The divine mandate to the wife demands that the wife respect the husband. The subordination to the authority of her husband is the result of the respect she has for him. The wife’s recognition and obedience to her husband’s authority cannot be enforced by the husband’s brutality, physical violence, abusiveness, or machoism in any form.

(h) The wife must respond from the freedom of her own soul. Anything a woman gives through coercion is not worth having. The wife being subordinate to the husband is not demeaning, in fact, it calls for the highest of integrity on the part of the wife. Her respect for the husband is the highest and purest form of personal love.

(i) The word “body” is an analogy and reference to the Church, which is formed by the baptism of the Spirit, 1 Cor 12:12-14. Christ is the head or ruler of the body, Eph 1:22-23, 5:23-24; Col 1:18.

(2) Col 3:18, “Wives, be subject to your husbands, as is protocol in the Lord.” Great marriages among believers are formed from both spouses having personal love inside the integrity envelope. If you only have one spouse inside the integrity envelope, then you are to carry on with your responsibility to fulfill the word of God.

c. The third divine rule in marriage is the mutual responsibility of both the husband and the wife. Mutual responsibility in marriage demands that both husband and wife reside in the integrity envelope.

(1) Eph 5:33, “However, you also [the husband], each one of you individually, let him so love his wife as himself; and the wife see to it that she respects her husband.”

(a) There is no higher form of love than respect. Everyone in life must have respect for something that counts to have capacity for life. We could not have humility without authority. The inner beauty of the woman comes from her humility. The capacity for life is humility. The ultimate capacity for life is respect.

(b) This mutual responsibility has to be consistent by both parties. The man is commanded to have virtue. The woman is commanded to respond to a man of virtue.

© The woman is the responder, therefore, the potential is there for respect to her husband. But if the husband fails to love his wife as Christ loved the Church, then the woman reacts. The reaction of the woman is as vicious as her response is fantastic. The ultimate in marriage is for the husband to so fulfill the first divine law that the woman responds with respect through the second divine law. Under those conditions, every problem in marriage has a solution.

(2) Eph 4:31-32, “All bitterness, both anger and wrath, both quarreling and slander must be removed from you, along with all malice. Rather become kind toward one another, compassionate, forgiving each other, just as God also by means of Christ has forgiven you.”

(a) The third divine law has a positive and negative side. The negative side of the law is to remove all mental attitude and verbal sins. The positive side of the law is application of doctrine through the problem solving devices.

(b) Bitterness is a motivation. It is called bitter jealousy in Jam 3:14, because jealousy and bitterness are two sides of the same coin. Jealousy comes first and results in bitterness. Bitterness is refusal to take the responsibility that the jealousy came from your volition. The woman reacts to her own bitterness. The first result of her reaction is denial, the second result is projection. Bitterness is a projection which comes from jealousy. Malice is the sin nature lust to get even, to seek revenge, to inflict misery, suffering, and injury on someone else in marriage.

© The removal of all of these negatives requires the function of the four spiritual mechanics with emphasis on the deployment of the tandem problem solving devices, which form the integrity envelope. The negative side emphasizes focus on the necessity for both spouses living inside the integrity envelope.

(d) Becoming kind toward one another is the function of the husband loving his wife as Christ also loved the Church and wives respecting their husbands. The capacity for impersonal love for all mankind produces true compassion, which is not emotion. It is a compassion that has a wonderful attitude. Precedence for forgiving each other was set at the Cross.

d. Principles

. (1) Divine integrity is never compromised by the failure of mankind.

(2) Divine integrity includes the righteousness of God.

(3) There are three ways in which the righteousness of God could have been compromised, but are not.

(4) The integrity of God is never compromised by the failure of the believer in marriage.

(5) The integrity of God is never compromised by faith alone in Christ alone at salvation.

(6) The integrity of God is never compromised by divine personal love for the believer.

(7) The integrity of God is never compromised by the function of the rebound technique.

(8) For believers, a successful marriage demands that each spouse deploy the tandem problem solving devices to live in marriage inside the integrity envelope. (9) A person is no better in marriage than he is as a person.

(10) A loser in the spiritual life is a loser in marriage. A winner in the spiritual life is a winner in marriage.

(11) Marriage is not finding the right person, marriage is being the right person.

(12) As in all aspects of the modus vivendi of the believer in time, there is no substitute for the integrity envelope in all personal human relationships, especially marriage, and in all phases of the spiritual life. Therefore, the importance of the deployment of the tandem problem solving devices. Personal love for God is the man’s motivation for personal love for the woman and the woman’s motivation for her response of respect. Impersonal love for all mankind is love capacity for each spouse to fulfill the commands of Eph 5:25 and Eph 5:33.

(13) There is no substitute for the spiritual mechanics of the protocol plan of God in producing a marriage of compatibility based on right priorities.

15. Principles.

a. Marriage is not a panacea. Marriage is not a cure all, an answer for all the problems or difficulties in life. Marriage is not a problem solving device. Marriage is a problem manufacturing device, because it brings together two old sin natures under the same roof. In fact, marriage is not even designed for happiness but for virtue, and virtue is designed for happiness as illustrated by the woman’s response to true love from the man. Her response is respect, which is the highest form of love. True love in the integrity envelope is always from the source of true humility in the man. He has great responsibility toward the wife. To be in marriage without the tandem problem solving devices is a disaster.

b. Marriages fail because people fail as human beings. In fact, believers are no better in marriage than the status of their spiritual life. Marriages also fail because believers marry for all the wrong reasons: sex, security, escape from adversity, thinking that marriage is happiness, peer pressure, to spite someone else. Christians marry the wrong person because of overt attractiveness or because they are users and marriage is a part of their agenda on the road to fame or success. Too many people get married and they have no compatibility at all. Incompatibility is the war of two sin natures. However, there is no problem in life too great for the tandem problem solving devices.

c. Christians enter marriage with optimistic illusions or brain washed by myths about marriage, that marriage is a panacea. Therefore, they have delusions of having a better environment. Christian enter marriage spiritually unprepared to handle the frustrations, the disappointments, the disenchantments, the disillusions which often occur after the honeymoon.

d. You cannot solve the problems of marriage by changing or renovating your spouse. You cannot change your spouse in marriage, you can only change yourself.

e. Personal love in marriage is virtue dependent for its reality. This means that the husband’s personal love for his wife or the wife’s respect for her husband demands two things: consistent deployment of the four spiritual mechanics of the protocol plan of God for the Church and personal love must always reside inside the integrity envelope.

f. Arrogance is the most destructive factor in human relationships. Arrogance is destructive in marriage, for a self-absorbed spouse is totally insensitive to the other person in marriage. The spouse who functions under the three arrogance skills undermines marriage. Such a spouse is always right, never wrong from the function of self-justification. Both husbands and wives enter into this in their arguments. Such a spouse bombards marriage with the sins of the arrogance complex combined with the sins of the emotional complex resulting in tremendous irrationality, therefore failure. This is the function of the second arrogance skill— self-deception. Such a spouse is totally preoccupied with self and totally insensitive to the other spouse, and this is the third arrogance skill— self-absorption. The arrogant believer demands unconditional love from the spouse.

B. Insecurity In Marriage.

1. Respect is the highest form of love. It is the most stable form of love. It provides a stability that exists under the authority of someone else.

2. The Ten Steps To Insecurity.

a. Insecure husbands result in insecure wives.

b. Insecure parents result in insecure children.

c. Insecure children produce an insecure generation.

d. An insecure generation demands security. If their demands are met, the insecure generation loses freedom.

e. In demanding security from government, an insecure generation becomes an entitled generation.

f. The entitlement is offered to the insecure generation by insecure politicians.

g. The vehicle for entitlement becomes some form of socialism offered by an insecure government divorced from establishment principles as found in the word of God.

h. To finance this pseudo security of socialism, an insecure government gains power, security, and entitlement for itself through confiscation of wealth by unjust taxation, redistribution of wealth in the name of the greater good for the greater number.

i. In the process, utopian socialism combines with Marxism to establish economic and political doctrines based on false theories of dialectical materialism and the promotion of class warfare. The result is big government, which provides pseudo security to the insecure through public lies and false promises sugar coated with tricky words of demagoguery which result in destruction of human freedom.

j. Instead of government being the servants of the people, the entitled, insecure people become the slaves of big government. Absolute power in the hands of incompetent and insecure rulers, whose power lust feeds on the demands of something for nothing, results in insecure people selling their heritage of freedom for a mess of pottage. This is the beginning of the internal self-destruction of the client nation to God. A destruction which can only be reversed by a spiritual solution.

3. Insecurity starts with marriage and ends with the nation destroying itself. The spiritual solution starts with salvation through faith alone in Christ alone; it continues with postsalvation dynamics related to the four spiritual mechanics of the protocol plan of God for the Church—the utilization of the two power options, the function of the three spiritual skills, the deployment of the ten problem solving devices on the FLOT line of the soul, and the execution of the protocol plan of God for the Church.

4. The solution to insecurity is always a divine solution. As goes the believer, so goes the client nation of God. Blessing always comes through a few great believers in each generation.

5. For the believer, the success or failure of marriage is coterminous with the success of failure of one’s spiritual life. Marriage and the spiritual life have in common the four spiritual mechanics. Therefore, failure in the spiritual life means failure in marriage.

C. Husbands are commanded to understand their wives.

1. 1 Pet 3:7, “You husbands likewise, live with your wives on the basis of knowledge, as with a weaker vessel, since she is a woman; and assign honor to her as a fellow heir of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered.”

a. Husbands are commanded to live with their wives on the basis of knowledge about the woman. This verse demands that the husband understand the woman, but it also demands that the woman understand herself. The word for knowledge here is the Greek word GNOSIS. It is used rather than the word EPIGNOSIS because marriage is a divine institution for both believers and unbelievers. This is a mandate from the word of God to understand the woman. The woman should be understood by the unbelieving husband as well as by the believing husband. The man who does not live with his wife on the basis of knowing and understanding her is inevitability going to be abusive, full of arrogance, and throw his weight around. The supreme court of heaven is devastating on any man who abuses a woman. There is enough information in the Bible for any man to be able to obey this mandate.

b. The woman is the weaker vessel because she is designed by God as a responder.

(1) When she reacts to authority as a responder, she becomes weak. When a woman is not responding, she is reacting. When she reacts to her husband, she can respond to the Lord and be much stronger than her husband.

(2) A woman has far greater capability for love than a man, because it is based on responding, being under authority, and having respect for the one who is in authority.

(3) The woman is not weaker in her personality; she is only weaker because she is designed to be a responder.

(4) The husband has the responsibility to protect her from responding to someone else and transferring her affection. He does this by his personal love inside the integrity envelope.

(5) The woman has a more difficult life to live because she has many responsibilities that demand that she respond to the man. She has a much more difficult time executing the spiritual life, because if her husband is not fulfilling his part, she has a far more difficult life than the man.

(6) When the woman is reacting to the man and society in general, then society collapses. The woman as a responder is no longer the primary motivator of the man. When the woman is out of place in society, it becomes a degenerate society. But when the woman is in place in society, then society is magnificent.

c. Because the woman has a more difficult life, it is the responsibility of the man to honor the woman. To have authority over women means to honor them, not to take advantage of them. The wife has the responsibility to be the greatest lover of all. She is commanded to respect her husband. Satan understood this when he made his attack on man through the woman. Adam really did not understand the woman.

d. The fact the woman is a fellow heir of the grace of life means that there must always be authority but there is also the necessity for equality to execute the plan of God. When the husband is unfair or unjust, then she must respond to God the Father under the problem solving device of personal love for God the Father and occupation with Christ.

e. When there is antagonism and fighting between a husband and wife and failure to obey the divine laws of marriage, prayers are unanswered. Even though your prayers are not answered, God the Holy Spirit and the Lord Jesus Christ are still making intercession for us. No one else can pray for such a couple since they do not have all the facts. 2. Arrogance is the most destructive factor in human relationship. God makes war against the arrogant believer, but gives grace to the humble believer, Jam 4:6; 1 Pet 5:5.

a. Arrogance is a destructive factor in marriage for a self- absorbed spouse. The woman has her problems in listening. The man has his problems in leading.

b. The spouse who functions under the three arrogance skills always undermines the marriage. Such a spouse is always right under self- justification. Such a spouse bombards the marriage with the sins of arrogance. Such a spouse is totally preoccupied with self and totally insensitive to the other spouse.

c. The arrogant believer demands unconditional love from his spouse.

d. Personal love is only effective in marriage inside the integrity envelope of virtue love. Personal love outside of the integrity envelope combines emotion with arrogance to establish the irrational procedure of problem solving—adding a problem to a problem to try to solve a problem.

3. Things the man must understand about the woman.

a. To begin to understand the woman, it is necessary for the man to know that the Bible teaches that she is a responder. Eph 5:33 commands the woman to respect her husband. Respect is admiration and approbation combined with deference and partiality, so that the object of such esteem occupies such a place in the soul. For the woman, true love must start in her soul, not in her body. True love must originate from virtue in the soul. The key to a woman’s love is her respect.

b. The woman has a soul. That means a woman has freedom. No man can force a woman to love him either by flattery or tyranny unless she has reacted to her husband. In her reaction, she is a target for the predatory male. Her love must originate from her own volition in her soul. Therefore, what a woman does not freely give from the volition of her soul is not worth having. A woman must have freedom in her soul to love a man. The real problem for the woman in personal love is her priorities and her values in life. Often her priorities get ahead of her.

(1) The only way that a woman can love a man is from her soul. She is a responder, and when she is not responding, she is reacting. When she is reacting, the man is in trouble.

(2) This is one reason why adultery and fornication is so devastating to the woman’s capacity for loving a man. Fornication and adultery do not have virtue. A woman in adultery or fornication changes her whole system of values from the stream of consciousness or the soul, where God intended them to be, to her body. Her emphasis goes from the soul to the body, and she wants solutions related to the body rather than the soul. She loses her great ability to respond through respect, the highest form of love.

(3) Sex outside of marriage is a system of lust and sin by volitional involvement. Sex was designed by God to be an expression of love in marriage. The desire for sex is volitional rather than genetic in origin.

(4) Spirituality and Morality.

(a) While morality belongs to the laws of divine establishment and is mandated for the entire human race, it does have a special place in the biblical doctrine of spirituality.

(b) Morality is defined as conformity to the rules of right conduct, which means moral or virtuous conduct, the moral quality of character including virtue in sexual matters.

© Morality is related to human freedom in the decalogue of the ten commandments, codex one of the Mosaic Law, Ex 20. Crime is anti-freedom and should be punished. Therefore, morality is related to the function of juris prudence. Morality is related to the doctrine of marriage, Ex 20:14,17.

(d) While morality as part of the laws of divine establishment is for the entire human race, it is also related to the spiritual life of the believer; for immorality destroys spirituality, whereas spirituality overcomes immorality. The violation of the laws of morality is classified as a sin, and any category of sin brings the spiritual life to a halt—loss of the filling of the Spirit.

(e) Therefore, immorality destroys the spiritual life of the believer just as much as any other category of sinfulness. This does not imply that morality is the spiritual life.

(f) Lack of morality can hinder the believer’s spiritual life through sin, but morality cannot fulfill the spiritual life. Therefore, legalism can even turn morality, isolated from the spiritual life, into a system of rapid decline from spirituality to loser believer. Therefore, a major attack on the spiritual life comes from morality.

(g) Rom 3:20 recognizes the Jews under the Law often depending on their morality for salvation, “because by the works of the Law [morality] no flesh will be justified in His sight; for through the Law comes the knowledge of sin.” Compare Rom 3:28, “For we maintain that a person is justified by faith without the works of the Law.” Gal 2:16, “nevertheless knowing that a person is not justified by the works of the Law but through faith in Christ Jesus, even we have believed in Christ Jesus, that we might be justified by faith in Christ, and not by the works of the Law; since by the works of the Law shall no flesh be justified.”

(5) The major attack on morality is immorality. Sex outside of marriage is prohibited. One of the major reasons for this is because a woman is a responder. Fornication, adultery or both destroy the responding system of the woman, and gives her a false sense of values. It awakens the lust of the body rather than keeping the emphasis on the soul. Sex outside of marriage destroys the marriage before it ever comes about, because a woman changes her values from the emotion, feeling, and responses of her body rather than her soul. She will never have a successful marriage and will never understand true love. (6) Verses which prohibit and condemn fornication and adultery.

(a) Ex 20:14; Deut 5:18; Mt 5:27f, 19:18. How adultery destroys a woman is taught in the book of Hosea. The most important thing to a woman is her soul, and it is often the thing to which she gives the least amount of attention. Because of this, women are self-destructive after they become reactive with mental attitude and verbal sins. The only thing that can deliver her is a husband with love inside the integrity envelope. Fornication is a woman using her physical responses by destroying her soul responses, therefore, destroying herself. She becomes incapable of love.

(b) Gal 5:19, “Now the works of the flesh are evident, which are: fornication, impurity, sensuality.” Sensuality is the lust for sexual stimulation of the body.

(d) 1 Cor 6:18, “Flee fornication. Every other sin that a man commits is outside the body, but the immoral man sins against his own body.” (e) 1 Thes 4:3, “For this is the will of God, your sanctification, that you abstain from fornication.”

(f) Acts 15:20,29, 21:25; 1 Cor 5:1, 7:2, 12:21.

(7) Marriage existed before sex. Marriage existed before there was any single status. God did not start the human race with romance or friendship, but with marriage. Conjugal love was designed by God from the beginning of mankind as an expression of marriage. Gen 2:24, “Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother, and have sex with his wife; and they shall become one flesh.” The body of the man and woman are joined in marriage. Their souls can only be joined where the three laws of marriage are understood and obeyed. Sex in marriage should be an expression of personal love inside the integrity envelope formed by the tandem problem solving devices. Therefore, sex in marriage is both recreation and procreation. The purpose for sex in marriage was recreation. Procreation did not occur until after the fall.

c. If the husband fails, the wife will fail because she is a responder. It is the failure of the husband that causes the wife to fail.

(1) When a woman is not responding, she is reacting, which makes her far more vulnerable to more subtle and obvious fields of carnality. When a woman reacts to someone, she has to respond to someone else. In responding to someone else, she is in the process of destroying herself.

(2) Because a woman goes from response to reaction, she tries to compensate for it by seeking the approbation of other men. Her response to these other men is not a soul response, but a physical response. As this goes on, she builds up a strong arrogance. She has lost her respect for one man that protects her from all the dangers of other men who only want her body. Physical rapport does not perpetuate love, nor is it necessarily even involved in love.

(3) When any man resorts to any form of physical violence to control a woman, he is the biggest loser in town. She will react to him, reject him in her soul, shut down her own soul reflects, and resort to fornication or adultery. She is trying to solve a problem with another problem, and her soul no longer has the capability of respect. All she has left is guilt, and guilt sets up a vacuum of hopelessness. Premarital sex destroys everything that God gave us for true and perfect happiness.

(4) The woman’s soul is especially sensitive because the woman is a responder. When the woman reacts to an insensitive man, she takes on the characteristics of that man, and she becomes insensitive toward that husband, but she becomes responsive to other predatory males.

(5) When a woman is reacting, she cannot stop reacting against her husband unless she is inside the integrity envelope. Her reaction is stopped by responding to the Lord. The solution to reaction is responding to the Lord. This is why she is commanded to obey her husband as unto the Lord. If the man reacts to the woman’s reacting, all it does is intensify the problem. A woman under emotional reaction is irrational. A man under reacting to a woman emotionally is irrational. Things are said in anger to hurt each other, which can lead to manufacturing greater problems. Instead of reacting to her carnal husband, the wife should respond to the Lord. Responding to the Lord instead of reacting to her husband is tantamount to living inside the integrity envelope. Responding to the Lord means the modus vivendi of the spiritual mechanics of the protocol plan of God.

D. Sex in Marriage Only.

1. The concept that sex is only permitted in marriage is based on such passages as 1 Thes 4:3, “For this is the will of God, your sanctification, that you abstain from fornication.” All precedence for sex was established at the point of creation and has never changed.

2. Sex in marriage is designed by God in the original creation as an expression of conjugal love, Gen 2:24, “For this cause a man shall leave his father and his mother, and shall have sex with his wife, so that they shall become one flesh.”

a. Why did God say, “leave his father and his mother?” It was to anticipate the fact that the precedence established in the garden continued after the fall of man. There were no fathers and mothers on earth yet.

b. Precedence in Scripture recognizes certain doctrinal principles of marriage which existed when man was perfect on the earth. God married the first two human beings on this earth. Marriage followed immediately upon the creation of man and the woman and preceded the fall of man. The original sin of the man and the woman did not change one thing with regard to the divine institution of marriage. Sex was designed for recreation only in marriage. Only when the souls of the husband and wife possess unity through the function of virtue love inside the integrity envelope does the sexual relationship in marriage express that true love.

c. From the beginning of mankind on the earth, sex was an expression of personal love inside the integrity envelope. The original integrity envelope existed at the time of creation. Therefore, sex in marriage was both recreation and procreation. Original sin did not destroy the precedence of sex in marriage only.

d. The Hebrew verb DABAQ means to join one thing to another thing, to have sexual intercourse in marriage. Sex is not love. Sex is an expression of love where there is personal love inside the integrity envelope. Sex without soul involvement has lost its meaning. Marriage is consummated in sex. God designed sex for marriage only and all sex outside of marriage is sin.

e. The man and the woman became one flesh, but not one soul. Marriage never starts out with coalescence of souls. One soul is the result of true personal love inside of the integrity envelope. One soul is the result of integrity and honor in marriage. The fusion of the bodies was a challenge to bring in the soul and the spirit. Spiritual death caused the loss of the human spirit. The challenge of marriage is to parlay one flesh into the fusion of two souls. f. Sexual intercourse unites their bodies, but only personal love inside the integrity envelope can unite their souls in true love. The husband initiates true virtue love from his soul inside the integrity envelope. The wife answers the true virtue love from his soul with obedience and respect. The coalescence of souls brings true meaning to the words one flesh. g. Doctrine was a challenge to the husband and the wife, a challenge to the prototype tandem of personal love for God the Father and impersonal love for each other. True love resides in the soul. Personal love for God was based on their response to doctrine. h. Marriage came before sex. Therefore, the boundaries of sex were established at the creation of mankind. The original marriage was based on true virtue love in the soul and there was no coalescence of the soul at the time of marriage. No couple ever gets married with coalescence of the soul. Coalescence of the soul comes over a period of time. i. Marriage came before romance. Couples who live together and are not married have no chance in marriage, because they are building their marriage on sex rather than on true love in the soul.

j. Personal love inside the integrity envelope came before sin. Personal love outside the integrity envelope emphasizes the body over the soul, sex over love, and sin over virtue. k. Response from the woman came before reaction from the woman.

3. Sex is not a problem solving device. Sex was never designed to be a problem solving device, even legitimate sex. Genetically we are given a sexual apparatus. Volition determines how we use it. Libido is not a sin. Libido is a normal function of physiology—biological life. The sins come from volition.

4. Sexual deviation or sex outside of marriage is an attack on the stability of the human race. They are an attack on the grace of God in providing a system whereby the human race could have stability and not self- destruct. Sexual deviation scars the soul. Marriage is designed to be the stabilizer of the human race in a state of total depravity.

a. Sex outside of marriage is always classified as a sin, Lev 18; 20:10-23; Num 5:12-13; Deut 5:22-23.

b. There are five categories of sexual sins.

(1) Adultery, which is voluntary sexual intercourse of a married person with someone other than his wife.

(2) Fornication, which is voluntary sexual intercourse between two unmarried persons or two persons not married to each other.

(3) The sexual sins of degeneracy.

(a) Homosexuality, which is voluntary sexual intercourse directed toward a person of one’s own sex.

(b) Bestiality, which is sexual relationship between a human being and an animal.

(4) The sexual sins of crime.

(a) Rape, which is to force a person to have intercourse.

(b) Incest, which is sexual intercourse between parents and children.

(d) Prostitution, which is the practice of engaging in sexual intercourse for money.

(e) Pandering, which is the function of a pimp, a go- between who profits from the vices of others related to illicit sexual intercourse.

(5) The sexual sins related to evil. This includes the phallic cult, demonism and demon cults related to sex.

c. The Justice of God and Sexual Sins.

(1) Like all sins of mankind, the supreme court of heaven under the justice of God provides a series of punishments for sexual sins which are unbearable and a source of great misery. The perfect righteousness of God demands punishment, and what the righteousness of God demands, the justice of God executes.

(2) Since all categories of sin involve human volition, the law of volitional responsibility applies, Hos 8:7; Gal 6:7-8. We must take the responsibility for our own decisions and the results of our bad decisions. Col 3:25, “He who does wrong will receive the consequences of that wrong, and there is no partiality.”

5. The Reactor Factors.

a. The woman was deceived in the original sin, 1 Tim 2:13-14, “For it was Adam who was first created, then Eve. And it was not Adam who was deceived, but the woman being quite deceived, fell into the transgression.” The man sinned deliberately in order to retain his relationship with the woman and to establish a compatibility that had previously existed in marriage.

b. The original sin of the woman was the first female reaction in history. First, she reacted against God. She rejected the authority of God. She rejected the authority of Adam. When a woman reacts, instead of responding to the love and authority of her husband the soul love of the woman vanishes. The reaction of the woman destroys true virtue love in her soul. The integrity envelope vanishes as in a cloud of reaction.

c. The woman as a responder becomes the woman as a reactor, who reverses the direction of her pattern of life and her persona changes. The nature of the female reaction—the adult woman seeks the approbation of other men. As an adult woman, she becomes “boy crazy.” This is the female middle age crisis. In this state, the reacting woman places emphasis on her body’s demand for sex. This results first in flirtation with a man who attracts her. She enters into a social relationship with some man or men she admires. Eventually she enters into a sexual relationship with them.

d. The result is a dead soul. 1 Tim 5:6, “But she who lives in wanton pleasure is dead while she lives.” The worst thing that can happen to any man is to fall in love with a woman who lives in wanton pleasure. “Wanton” means sexual lawlessness, unrestrained, headstrong and willful in pleasure, socially competitive and unrestrained, vulnerable to flattery, provocative flirtatiousness. Everything in her life centers around collecting men and approbation. A dead soul is a woman in reaction, who responds to other men in flirtation, approbation, and sex. Everything is physical, therefore, she often becomes involved in alcohol and drugs. She has lost the greatness of her inner beauty—the integrity envelope of her soul.

e. Legalism says that once you get into something like this there is no hope. This is wrong. Rebound cleanses you from all sins.

E. The Woman As a Responder.

1. The infallible word of God teaches that men should understand women and that women should understand themselves. From the beginning of the creation of mankind, the role of the man and the woman in the garden of Eden were defined by the Creator. The man had authority over the woman and over the world. The woman was under the authority of the man from the point of creation and that principle is perpetuated.

2. The woman is so fantastic as a responder, and she is so antithetical as a reactor. A woman is a responder, and if she is not responding, she is reacting. A woman is always going to react to her husband unless his personal love is initiated from the integrity envelope. The same principles apply in friendship and romance. A woman who is responding inside the integrity envelope is very sensitive, thoughtful, wonderful, perfect. But if she is reacting, then everything is reversed. The difference between being inside or outside of the integrity envelope is the difference between being in or out of fellowship.

3. The fact that the woman is under the authority of the man was never met by God to be demeaning to the woman or to lower the dignity of the woman or to debase her in any way. The purpose of putting the woman under the authority of the man is to raise her above the man in her capacity for love as a responder.

a. The cocoon of authority that encapsulates the woman was designed by God for her blessing, her protection, her true greatness in the feminine role of a responder. Just because a woman is told to kept silent in Church and just because a woman cannot have the spiritual gift of pastor- teacher, this does not detract in any way from her equal privilege and opportunity to fulfill God’s plan.

b. The woman has equal privilege and equal opportunity with the man to fulfill the protocol plan of God. This is dramatized in Gal 3:28, “There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free man, not male and not female; for you are all one in Christ Jesus.” The woman is not a slave to the man.

4. As a responder, the woman brings great blessing to the husband she respects and obeys. As a responder, the woman does not lose her freedom to choose one man for marriage. The man must never use his authority to try to break her spirit, to use any kind of cruelty or abuse or strike her in any way. By being abusive, he destroys her volitional function, so that she resents him, she will hate him, and instead of respect she will resent him. No woman will ever love a man who throws his weight around instead of using leadership.

5. As a responder, the woman enhances her natural beauty and charm with great inner beauty of the soul. The inner beauty of the woman results from her spiritual life, including the modus operandi of the four spiritual mechanics of the protocol plan of God.

6. Since a woman is a responder, she has free use of her volition to give happiness to a man in friendship, romance, or marriage. In friendship and romance, no sex is permitted by the Bible. Sex belongs to marriage as an expression of love inside the integrity envelope. Sex has no true meaning outside of marriage. Since a woman is a responder, she can one of two antithetical relationships with a man in friendship, romance, and marriage.

a. She can have respect and positive response, the basis for genuine love in friendship, romance, and marriage.

b. She can have reaction and negative response, which is the basis for hypocrisy, antagonism, and sometimes even survival—the transfer of her affection from her husband to another man.

7. What a woman does not give freely from her volition is not worth having. A woman’s highest form of love is a woman’s great respect for another person, male or female. When the woman has respect for a man, her love is genuine and fulfills Bible doctrine related to personal love inside the integrity envelope formed by the problem solving devices. Counseling causes a woman to transfer her affection and respect from her husband to her counselor. Therefore, no pastor should ever counsel women.

8. Five characteristics of the woman are taught in the New Testament: the responsive woman, the reacting woman, the woman instructor, and the vulnerable woman, the beautiful woman.

a. The Responsive Woman.

(1) Eph 5:33, “However, you husbands also, each one of you individually, let him so love his wife as himself; and the wife see to it that she respects her husband.”

(a) “Individually” means that no two men have the same persona. While all men have different personalities, they must all have in common the fact that their love for their wife must come from inside the integrity envelope. A Christian out of fellowship is the worst husband in town.

(b) The woman should not lose her volition in marriage. The husband who tries to squelch the volition of the woman is a total fool and will never have any happiness in marriage.

(2) 1 Tim 2:11-14, “Let a woman quietly receive instruction with entire submissiveness. But I do not allow a woman to teach or exercise authority over a man, but to remain quiet. For Adam was created first, then Eve. And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being completely deceived, fell into the transgression.”

(a) This is the way all of us receive instruction—with quiet submissiveness. Submission to legitimate authority means you have learned something. Submissiveness is not demeaning to a man or a woman. It is humility and wisdom. All wisdom is associated with humility. You never learn while you are talking. The woman is a responder and was given the ability to respond in her soul, because in marriage she is under the authority of the man. When a woman is reacting she is emoting and thinking and not learning.

(b) Women can advise other women, but not in groups. Older women should counsel and teach younger women how to love their husbands and their children. A woman has to learn how to love because she is a responder. If a woman is in a state of reaction, she will not listen. It is very difficult for women to learn. They will ignore doctrine. They will justify deviation from doctrine.

© The woman fell into the transgression because as a responder she started reacting to Adam and God and competing with God and Adam in her conversations with the serpent. When a woman is competing in reaction, she is self-destructive. The woman rejected the teaching of our Lord in the garden and rejected the authority of her husband in the dialogue with Satan indwelling the serpent.

(d) As a responder, the woman is vulnerable to dangers in life.

(3) 1 Tim 3:11, “Likewise women must be honorable, not malicious gossips, but temperate, faithful in all things.”

(a) The Greek word SEMNAS means honorable, noble, above reproach. It refers to the fulfillment of her spiritual life through the four spiritual mechanics (two power options, three spiritual skills, ten problem solving devices, and three stages of the adult spiritual life). It refers to living inside the integrity envelope, so that in her friendships, romance, and marriage she will be honorable. The Christian woman has her very own personal honor code provided by God.

(b) Being a malicious gossip is the woman in reaction. No matter how beautiful a woman is, the ugliness of her soul wipes out her overt beauty.

© The Greek word NEPHALIOUS means to be temperate in the use of wine, to have wisdom in the use of wine. When a woman drinks too much, she lowers her honor code and becomes vulnerable to the man who wants to use her.

(d) “Faithful in all things” means she must have a scale of values and stick with it.

b. The Reacting Woman.

(1) 2 Tim 3:6, “For among them [arrogant men] are those who enter into homes and seduce silly women weighed down with sins, led on by lusts.” Silly women are vulnerable to flattery and seduceable. Arrogant men take advantage of a woman who is reacting to someone she loves. When a woman is reacting to someone she loves, she becomes vulnerable to responding to other men. Arrogant men are flawed and are looking to take advantage of a reacting woman. The woman with reflected beauty rather than projected beauty is the silly woman here.

(2) 1 Tim 5:6, “But she who lives in wanton pleasure is dead even while she lives.”

(a) The woman has stopped responding to the man she loves, and is now reacting to him. The word “wanton” means headstrong and willful, sexually lawless and unrestrained. She becomes socially competitive, unrestrained, provocative in flirtation, vulnerable to flattery, with a lack of sexual restraint. When her reaction becomes wanton, then the soul is controlled by the sin nature and the body has its own lust pattern. Her relationships with a man become sexual.

(b) Being “dead while she lives” means she has destroyed the integrity envelope of her soul by reaction and entered into carnal death. She becomes a woman in reaction. When a woman is not responding, she is reacting. Such reaction destroys her true personal love inside the integrity envelope. Nothing is left but her sin nature in control of her soul and her physical response to the wrong person. The body responds in sexual attraction while the soul is reacting to her husband. She can solve the problem without self-destruction by responding to the Lord under two problem solving devices: personal love for God the Father and occupation with Christ.

(3) 1 Tim 5:13, “And at the same time they also learn to be idle, as they go around from house to house [an excessive social life]; and not merely idle, but also gossips and busybodies, discussing things that are not proper to mention.”

(a) There is something about a reacting woman that keeps her from fulfilling whatever activities in life she is motivated to do when she is a responder.

(b) The Greek word PERIERGOS means to pay attention to things that do not concern you. She starts meddling in things that are none of her business. Another way of reacting is getting into Christian activism.

c. The Woman Instructor.

(1) The pastor can communicate Bible doctrine related to the woman, but only another woman who has attained spiritual adulthood can teach a woman about herself and instruct her in spiritual matters pertinent to the woman only. A man cannot and should not counsel a woman. Certain women do have a mandate to teach the younger women how to love a man. A woman does not know how to respond to a man. This has to be taught. She must be taught how to respect the man. Only an older and wiser woman can teach the younger woman how to love her husband and how to love her children. A woman has to learn how to love her children.

(2) Tit 2:3-5, “Likewise adult women in their behavior should take seriously that they belong to God, not slanderers, not enslaved to too much wine, teachers of virtue, that they may bring young women to their senses to love their husbands, to love their children, to be thoughtful, to be chaste, to be good at home, being under the authority of their own husbands, that the word of God may not be dishonored.”

(a) A woman becomes “an older woman” when she reaches spiritual adulthood, not by virtue of her age. She should be in at least the first stage of spiritual adulthood before she teaches a younger woman.

(b) The Greek word HIEROPREPES means “that we must take seriously the fact that we belong to God.” Kittel, volume 3.

© The Greek phrase KALO DIDASKALOS means “teachers of virtue.” This is an extension of the spiritual gift of helps. Only a spiritually adult woman can encourage, counsel, motivate and teach another woman about herself and instruct her in spiritual matters pertinent to women only. A man should not counsel a woman at all. The honor code for a woman is taught by a woman. The spiritually adult woman teaches another woman how to respond to the Lord rather than react to the circumstances of life related to marriage.

(d) The verb SOPHRONIZO means to restore to a right type of thinking, to bring someone to their senses, to encourage them in the honor code for the ladies. When younger ladies react, they are a different person altogether. The reacting woman is not necessarily going to accept the wisdom of the older woman. The hardest person in the world to teach is the reacting woman, because they become willful. You have to learn how to love someone. Younger women must be taught how to love their husbands and how to love their children. A woman as a reactor does not love her husband or her children. No man can bring a woman to her sense by any kind of mental or physical abuse.

(e) All people have to learn to love. A woman has to learn to love because she was created by God to be a responder. This is always a shock to a woman, because she is so full of emotion and romantic notions. Responding to the wrong person through some form of attraction destroys her.

(f) Younger women in reaction must be taught how to be thoughtful, to be sensitive, to recognize that other people have ideas that may be different, and to avoid a lot of unnecessary confrontation.

(g) The life and thinking of the woman is a great and important part of the prehistoric angelic conflict. There were a lot of reacting women before the time of the flood who became vulnerable to the seduction of fallen angels. The reacting woman is not a witness for God in Satan’s appeal trial.

(h) When a woman goes to a pastor or some male counselor for advise, she becomes dependent upon the counselor. The creation of that dependence often leads to admiration. Such admiration should never supercede a woman’s true love for her husband, which is called respect. The woman has a right to respect and admire men as long as it does not lead to any transference of affection from her husband. The husband should never feel threatened or insecure because of his wife’s normal social life with other men and women. The wife who loves and respects her husband will always be in control, because her marital blessings come from one man only—her husband.

(i) All the counseling of a pastor is bound up in teaching the word of God to an assembled congregation. It is not the function of a pastor-teacher to counsel one woman privately. Metabolized Bible doctrine circulating in the seven compartments of the stream of consciousness through the filling of the Holy Spirit should be the counsel and wisdom of the individual believer priest, both male and female. The privacy of the universal priesthood of the believer is the basis for objective counseling of self, along with the function of the problem solving devices. This avoids subjectivity related to one-on-one counseling by a pastor-teacher. The counseling of a pastor is no substitute for objective counseling of self. Therefore the wake up call from God the Holy Spirit is sedated so that clear delineation of God’s will is ignored by the function of self-justification when a pastor is counseling members of his congregation privately. Bible teaching is designed to recognize the problem. But if you rationalize the problem, you realization the solution. A rationalized solution is no solution. You must recognize the reality of the problem before you can recognize the reality of the solution. Objective reception of Bible teaching under the privacy of the priesthood maintains objectivity in the recipient, so that God the Holy Spirit can provide the counsel through Bible teaching to a group of believers rather than a one-on- one intrusion. The less the pastor knows about your personal business, the more objective is the pulpit communication of Bible doctrine.

d. The Vulnerable Woman.

(1) The most vulnerable state of the Christian woman is as she approaches or attains a personal sense of destiny. She is most vulnerable when she gets into the first stage of the adult spiritual life, called spiritual self-esteem. Once she deploys the tandem problem solving devices on the FLOT line of the soul, her vulnerability is cut down dramatically.

(2) In relationship to her husband or the man she loves in friendship or romance, the vulnerable woman reacts. This reaction takes place outside of the integrity envelope and results in a rapid decline in her spiritual life to the status of loser believer.

(3) Outside of the integrity envelope the reacting woman can go on a shopping spree to see if there are any better males to whom see can respond. She is dead in her soul while she lives. She is vulnerable to jealousy, bitterness, flattery. She can be manipulated. She may have a frantic search for happiness, emotional revolt of the soul, blackout of the soul, and a complete loss of values which add to the deadness of her thinking process in her stream of consciousness. She is described by “reckless, arrogant, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God,” 2 Tim 3:4.

(4) Because the woman is a responder, she is extremely vulnerable under the principle: when a woman is not responding, she is reacting. Her reaction becomes a retrograde movement of her spiritual life, a rapid decline from her spiritual state to loser believer.

(5) There are two antithetical categories of loser reaction.

(a) Moral reaction involves crusader arrogance, Christian activism, extreme legalism.

(b) Immoral reaction involves adultery and fornication.

(6) All solutions to the problem of reaction must begin with rebound, which results in recovery of the filling of the Spirit, restoration of fellowship with God, and resumption of the spiritual life. Regarding past failures, we can do nothing about the past, but because of rebound we can do something about the future.

e. The Beautiful Woman.

(1) Women are not all beautiful overtly. But every born again woman can be beautiful in the soul, where it counts and where it lasts. There is nothing more beautiful than the woman with inner beauty.

(2) Women who are physically beautiful often have a handicap in life, because they often are so arrogant they have no values of any kind. They are dependent on their beauty and lust for flattery and attention of men. They are self-destructive. The greatest tragedy that can come to these women is to depend on their beauty, to live for flattery, and to have no values beyond their own self-absorption. They are totally repulsive and do not even know it. They always become losers in their spiritual life.

(3) A woman who is naturally beautiful has a reflected beauty. But a woman who has beauty in her soul has a projected beauty. A smart man will never be attracted to reflected beauty but to projected beauty. Many women with reflected beauty become arrogant and develop magnificent hypocrisy to cover their ugly soul. It is important for a woman to look into the mirror of the word of God and see projected beauty. When a woman looks into a mirror and sees reflected beauty, this can be a distraction to her.

(4) 1 Tim 2:9-15, “Likewise, I have made a command decision. Women should make themselves attractive by respectable, well coordinated clothing associated with respect for authority and inner beauty of the soul, not with emphasis on high fashion, hair stylings, and gold or pearls or expensive clothing, but what becomes protocol for women who are being offered respect for God by means of intrinsic good production [life inside the integrity envelope], (Let the woman learn in silence with total submissiveness. But I do not allow a woman to teach or exercise authority over a man, but to remain quiet. For it was Adam who was first created, and then Eve. And it was not Adam who was deceived, but the woman being quite deceived, fell into transgression. But women shall be preserved through the bearing of children) if they continue in doctrine and virtue love and sanctification associated with inner beauty.”

(a) There are four points in this passage.

i. The principle of feminine pulchritude, v. 9.

ii. The principle of feminine spirituality—part one, v. 10.

iii. The parenthesis, v.11-15a. There are four parts to this parenthesis: the woman in church, vv. 11-12, the woman at creation, v. 13, the woman in the fall, v. 14, the woman’s metamorphoses, v. 15a

. iv. The principle of feminine spirituality—part two, v. 15b.

(b) Any woman can make herself beautiful by inner beauty. The Greek noun SOPHROSUNE means rational without illusion, reasonable, proper or virtuous conduct, decency, chastity. It refers to the function and coordination of the various parts of the soul. This includes tremendous knowledge and humility. SOPHROSUNE is the inner beauty of the woman’s soul from living inside the integrity envelope.

© A body reflects beauty, a soul projects beauty. Reflected beauty results from birth, from genetics. The born again woman can have the most fantastic inner beauty that more than compensates for any defects in her reflected beauty. Projected beauty is the result of the new birth and experiential sanctification.

(d) There is nothing wrong with wearing braided hair, gold, pearls, or expensive clothing. These things are not the issue in beauty. Emphasis must be placed on the inner beauty of the soul.

(e) This passage emphasizes the fact that what a woman wears to cover or decorate her body is not as important as the inner beauty or her soul. Beauty is not in the body. It is in the soul. Inner beauty produces its own light and projects it from the soul.

(f) The imperatival infinitive of the verb KOSMEO recognizes the fact that while all women are not born beautiful, there is something in the protocol plan for the Church that will make them very beautiful. Feminine pulchritude is not the same in all women through physical birth, but with regeneration every woman has the same opportunity to obey the mandate to make herself beautiful through the four spiritual mechanics of the protocol plan of God. The issue of beauty or attractiveness is doctrine in the soul rather than pulchritude in the body.

(g) As goes your spiritual life, so goes your marriage. As goes your spiritual life, so goes your inner beauty. Since born again women are mandated to make themselves beautiful regardless of their natural features, it is obvious that this divine command cannot be fulfilled through emphasis on exterior beauty. Life in the integrity envelope eventuates in projecting beauty in contrast to overt reflected beauty. Only projected beauty of the soul has permanence to stand the ravages of time. Reflected beauty is destroyed by age and dissipation.

(h) Clothes and accessories do not make the woman, but the woman very often makes the clothes and the accessories. An ugly soul in a beautiful body destroys reflected beauty and ruins the impression of good grooming. Spiritual pulchritude is far superior to physical beauty. Grace beauty of the soul is far more impressive than the inherent and cultivated beauty of face and body. The projected glory of God in the soul of the mature believer is far greater than the narcisstic glamour of reflected concinnity (to be well put together, the harmony of overt beauty). The reflected beauty of face and beauty all too often tragically combine with an empty and ugly soul. Having physical beauty and being well dressed has never been mandated as part of the spiritual life and cannot be used as a substitute for the modus vivendi of the four spiritual mechanics.

(i) A woman is ugly when she has no respect for authority.

(j) The Greek word THEOSEBEIA means respect for God and refers to personal love for God deployed on the FLOT line of the soul as a problem solving device.

(k) The two parts of the feminine spirituality without the parenthesis says, “but what becomes protocol for women who are being offered respect for God by means of intrinsic good production, if they continue in doctrine and virtue love and sanctification associated with inner beauty.”

(l) We all learn in silence. We learn by listening or reading. Silence means concentration on what is being taught. You cannot learn while you are talking. Total submissiveness means concentration under the ministry of the Holy Spirit. Total submissiveness is the filling of the Holy Spirit, which does not cause reaction. We learn through acceptance of the authority of the one who is teaching. You only learn to the extent that you listen and accept the authority of the one who is teaching.

(m) The woman was changed at the moment she sinned, so that she could now bear children. This was her metamorphosis.

9. Summary.

a. Men should understand women and women should understand themselves, 1 Pet 3:7.

b. From the beginning of the creation of mankind, the role of the man and the woman in the garden of Eden was defined by the Lord Jesus Christ who created the universe. Man had the authority over the woman and over the world. Since God married the first man and woman at the point of her creation, this rule applies to both marriage and life in general.

c. The cocoon of authority that encapsulates the woman was designed by God for her blessing, her protection, and her true greatness in the feminine role of responder.

d. The born again woman has equal opportunity with the born again male to fulfill the protocol plan of God for the Church. This is emphasized by the baptism of the Spirit, Gal 3:28, “There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free man, there is neither male nor female; for you are all one in Christ Jesus.”

e. As a responder, the woman brings great blessing to the husband she respects and obeys. As a responder, the woman does not lose her freedom to choose that one man in marriage to whom she can respond, admire, obey, and respect. As a responder the woman enhances her natural beauty and charm with inner beauty of the soul. Obedience is not demeaning to that woman. The woman who practices the three arrogance skills will never get close to inner beauty.

f. Since a woman is a responder, she has free use of her own volition to give great happiness to a man in friendship, romance, and marriage. What a woman does not give freely from her volition is not worth having.

g. The highest form of love is a woman’s respect for another person. When a woman has respect for a man, her love is genuine and fulfills the Bible doctrine of personal love inside the integrity envelope which is formed by the tandem problem solving devices.

h. The woman’s protection when she starts reacting toward her husband is response toward the Lord in personal love and impersonal love for all mankind.

i. The inner beauty of the woman results from her spiritual life, including the modus operandi of the four spiritual mechanics of the protocol plan of God for the Church. The enhancement of the woman’s inner beauty results from her personal love functioning inside the integrity envelope.

j. Since a woman is a responder, she can have one of two antithetical relationships with a man. She can have respect or reaction. Respect is positive response and the basis for genuine love. Reaction is negative response and the basis for hypocrisy, antagonism, and sometimes even survival.

F. The Principle of People And Problems In General.

1. Some people have problems, recognize them from Bible doctrine, and use the problem solving devices to recover their spiritual life, beginning with rebound. Some people have problems and do not know it because of the function of the three arrogance skills (self-justification, self-deception, and self-absorption) and reversionism.

2. Under the concept of having problems and recognizing them, you move quickly to solutions. But when you have a problem and do not know that you have a problem, then it is inevitable that you will get into some of the stages of reversionism. It is difficult to recover because you accumulate garbage in the subconscious.

3. When people react to people, this is as close as they will ever come to their problems. When you react to someone, this is a way of telling you that you have a problem. If you rationalize the problem, you will rationalize the solution. A rationalized problem is no solution. You must recognize the reality of the problem before you can recognize the reality of the solution.. When people react to people, they have a serious problem of deadness in the soul. But the function of the three arrogance skills blinds them to that status. This is why there is no correction.

4. Some people have problems but they do not want divine solutions. Eventually they will go out under the sin unto death. Some people have problems but they want their own solutions, not God solutions.

5. Reaction is a diversity and a distraction. Men can react too. This is the feminizing of the man, because the man is an initiator.

6. Faith cannot operate when the believer is out of fellowship. The only thing that can operate is the function of the royal priesthood in following instructions in rebound. When you are out of fellowship with God, the only thing you can do is what the Bible tells you to do about it—name or acknowledge the sin to God. All of us fail. Rebound means we still have a future. 7. There are three vulnerabilities to spiritual self-esteem.

a. The function of arrogance and emotional sins to solve a problem with a problem.

b. The failure to deploy the tandem problem solving devices is destructive to the spiritual life.

c. The function of the three arrogance skills to distort self- approbation into a system of pseudo spiritual self-esteem.

(1) Self-absorption is tantamount to self-approbation. Self-approbation is human self-esteem in locked in arrogance. Self- approbation is often regarded as self-esteem. A believer in arrogance can add the label “spiritual” to self-esteem and erroneously conclude that his status is spiritual self-esteem. The result is that self-absorption becomes self-approbation in thinking, which in turn becomes the distortion of pseudo spiritual self-esteem.

(2) In arrogance, using the label of spiritual self-esteem to justify the function of the arrogance skills is one of the problems. The label of spiritual self-esteem becomes a system for self-justification.

(3) Gal 6:3, “For if anyone thinks he is something when he is nothing [and he does], he deceives himself.”

(4) 1 Cor 10:12, “Therefore let him who thinks he stands take heed lest he fall.”

8. Conclusion.

a. Divine integrity is never compromised by the failure of the believer.

b. Divine integrity includes the righteousness of God. The integrity of God is never compromised by faith alone in Christ alone at salvation. The integrity of God is never compromised by the imputation of divine righteousness at salvation. The integrity of God is never compromised by the function of the rebound technique.

c. For believers, a successful marriage demands that each spouse deploy the tandem problem solving devices and that they live inside the integrity envelope with their personal love. The husband is mandated to love the wife and the woman is to respond through obedience and the highest form of love that has ever existed—respect.

d. The marriage principles.

(1) Marriage is not finding the right person, marriage is being the right person.

(2) A person is no better in marriage than they are as a person.

(3) For the believer, marriage is a part of the spiritual life of the protocol plan of God for the Church.

(4) For the believer, the success or failure in marriage is coterminous with the success or failure in the spiritual life which God gave him in eternity past. Failure in the spiritual life means failure in marriage. A loser in the spiritual life is a loser in marriage. A winner in the spiritual life is going to be a winner in marriage.

(5) Marriage is not a problem solving device. There is no substitute for the integrity envelope in marriage, and therefore, the importance of the tandem problem solving devices—personal love for God the Father and impersonal love for all mankind.

e. God does not assign the role of authority and leadership in marriage without assigning extra responsibility to the one who has that authority. The husband’s authority and responsibility in leadership demands the deployment of the tandem problem solving devices on the FLOT line of the soul. Therefore, when marriages breakdown, it can be the fault of the woman because she was flawed coming into the marriage, but all too often it is the fault of the man whose arrogance increases as he enters into marriage and he destroys himself and his marriage.

G. Impersonal Love In Marriage.

1. Impersonal love is a problem solving device. Only personal love for God is a problem solving device. Without impersonal love for all mankind, the integrity envelope would be impossible. There is no virtue in personal love apart from the integrity envelope. This applies to believers only. The virtue of personal love for the unbeliever comes from the laws of divine establishment. But the spiritual life demands spiritual virtue; therefore, the importance of impersonal love for all mankind.

2. Without impersonal love for all mankind, there is no capacity for personal love. From that impersonal love is extracted true personal love of one believer for another believer in marriage. There is no personal love unless there is impersonal love on the FLOT line of the soul. Impersonal love is the key to all human relationships. Without impersonal love for all mankind, it is impossible for either partner in marriage to have a successful marriage.

3. Principles.

a. Out of impersonal love for all mankind comes our Lord’s personal love for the Church.

b. Out of impersonal love for all mankind comes the husband’s personal love for his wife.

c. The Church did not even exist when Jesus Christ demonstrated His impersonal love on the Cross by being judged for all the sins of the entire human race. The doctrine of unlimited atonement is a major factor in the spiritual life. It is the demonstration of the fact that our Lord on the Cross was inside the integrity envelope.

d. Premarital virtue demands the attainment of impersonal love before marriage.

e. To enter marriage without the virtue of impersonal love means malfunction, failure, the breakdown of personal love in marriage.

f. Without the virtue of impersonal love in marriage, personal love has neither problem solving capabilities or staying power.

g. Our Lord’s impersonal love for all mankind emphasizes the presalvation status on the Church as spiritual death. Hence, spiritual death is the most obnoxious thing to God. But for those who believe, our Lord had personal love inside the integrity envelope. Impersonal love must precede personal love, and that was true even in the humanity of Christ.

h. Our Lord’s personal love for the Church emphasizes the postsalvation status of the Church as possessing divine righteousness and at the same time attaining the tandem problem solving devices.

i. The priority problem must be solved before marital problems. The priority problem is development of impersonal love so that the husband can live with his wife on the basis of knowledge, 1 Pet 3:7, “Likewise, you husbands, live with your wives on the basis of knowledge [GNOSIS], as with a weaker vessel, since she is a woman; and assign honor to her as a fellow heir of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered.” (1) A woman is “weaker” because she is a responder.

(2) Showing the woman honor begins with impersonal love as a part of the integrity envelope.

(3) Failure in marriage means your prayers will not be answered.

j. No believer can be successful in marriage unless he has the right priorities. Right priorities demand that God have first place in your life. God cannot have first place in your life unless Bible doctrine has number one priority.

k. You have to learn how to have a successful marriage and the only textbook is the Bible. You cannot apply what you do not know, and without problem solving devices you cannot apply what you do know.

l. Success in marriage demands doctrinal conceptualism: learning, thinking, solving. The application of Bible doctrine demands the deployment of problem solving devices on the FLOT line of the soul with emphasis on the tandem problem solving devices which form the integrity envelope.

m. Impersonal love of the integrity envelope is the basis for personal love inside the integrity envelope.

H. The Context of Marriage.

1. The context of marriage is the context of the spiritual life of the Church Age believer.

2. There are four principles found in Eph 5:22-33.

a. Just as wives are under the authority of their husbands, so the Church Age believer is under the authority of our Lord Jesus Christ as the ruler of the Church, Eph 5:22-24, “Wives, be subordinate to your own husbands, as to the Lord. Because the husband is the ruler of the wife, just as Christ also is the ruler of the church, He Himself being the Savior of the body. But as the church is subordinate to Christ, so also wives are under the authority of their husbands in all things.”

(1) In the spiritual life, we are under the authority of our Lord Jesus Christ. We are subordinate to our Lord Jesus Christ. Capacity for being under the authority of your husband is impersonal love for all mankind.

(2) The secret to marriage is the same as the secret to the spiritual life—you must come to the point of occupation with Christ to be successful in marriage or in the spiritual life. Respect is the highest form of love. The husband is mandated to love; the wife is mandated to obey and respect her husband. The wife is to respect her husband as she does the Lord. The husband exercises authority in leadership, and the leadership is love.

(3) The woman is commanded to obey and respect her husband. She is never commanded to love her husband. No woman can obey this command unless she is living her life as unto the Lord and she is in the integrity envelope. Obedience is not demeaning, nor does it make a woman a second class citizen.

(4) As goes your spiritual life inside the integrity envelope, so goes the success of your marriage, including sex in your marriage. “As to the Lord” emphasizes occupation with Christ and indicates that the capacity of the wife to be subordinate is a part of the spiritual life. Subordination demands capacity in the soul. The wife cannot recognize the authority of her husband without a very strong spiritual life. There is a special blessings in the spiritual life for those who do not have authority. The greatest vulnerability to failure on the part of any woman in the spiritual life occurs as a wife, when, as a believer, she fails to deploy the tandem problem solving devices and past the test of providential preventative suffering, which includes her role in marriage.

(5) The man has a tremendous responsibility in marriage. Some men are never qualified for marriage because they are brutal, because they are arrogant, and because they misuse this authority. This authority calls for leadership, which comes from being inside the integrity envelope. The husband’s love is an umbrella over the wife. Another protection is the invisible walls of coalescence of bodies and souls in sex in marriage. These invisible walls protection the woman from transferring her love away from her husband and children to another man.

(6) Through union with Christ, we become the royal family of God. Christ as the head or ruler of the body is found in Eph 1:22-23; Col 1:18; and Eph 5:23. As the ruler of the Church, how has the Lord Jesus Christ treated us? In grace. That is how the husband is to treat the wife.

(7) Christ is also the savior of the body. Our Lord went to the Cross and died spirituality as a substitute for us, bearing all of our sins in His body and being judged for them.

(8) There is a parallel passage in Col 3:18, “Wives, be subordinate to your husbands, as is protocol in the Lord.” Just as wives are under the authority of their husbands, so also Church Age believers should be under the authority of Jesus Christ; hence, under the authority of the New Testament, which is the thinking of Jesus Christ. When you are under the authority of Christ, blessings multiply. When a woman takes the subordinate position under her husband, blessings multiply to her.

b. Eph 5:25-27, “Husbands, love your wives, as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself as a substitute for her, that having purified her, He might cause her to be sanctified by means of the washing of the water in association with the spoken word, that He might cause her to be presented to Himself as a glorious church, having no stain [sin] or wrinkle [human good] or any such category as these; but that she should be holy and unblemished.”

(1) This is the first divine law of marriage. The husband’s love enshrouds his wife in a magnificent system of purification. She is pure; she is loved; there is no bitterness. When the husband’s personal love is inside the integrity envelope, he purifies the marriage and he sets his wife apart from everyone else. Just as Jesus Christ has set us apart to God the Father in sanctification, so the husband sets apart his wife from all others. Sanctification of the wife is a setting apart of the wife as the object of the husband’s love and leadership, so that his authority is exercised with the virtue which is fulfilled in the protocol plan of God for the Church.

(a) Purification is part of sanctification—all past sins were blotted out at the moment of salvation. This purification occurred the moment we believed in Christ. Sanctification means you are set apart unto God as something special. God has a plan for your life. God gave you your very own spiritual life in eternity past as a part of your portfolio of invisible assets. Experiential sanctification is your spiritual life—the four mechanics of the spiritual life (the two power options, the three spiritual skills, the deployment of the ten problem solving devices on the FLOT line of the soul, and the execution of the three stages of the adult spiritual life). A Christian husband is given a mandate that he cannot obey when out of fellowship. So God puts him in a position where he can obey this command. Rebound is the purification which perpetuates your spiritual life. Fulfillment of the protocol plan is coterminous with obedience to this command. Just as you cleanse your body through washing with water, so you cleanse your soul by perception and metabolization of communicated doctrine.

i. Marriage is an integral part of the believer’s spiritual life.

ii. The believer in marriage cannot be divorced from his or her spiritual life without destroying the marriage. As goes your spiritual life, so goes your marriage.

iii. Personal love outside of the integrity envelope does not hold a marriage together. No one has a personal love powerful enough to do it.

iv. The solution to all the problems of Christian marriage relates to the spiritual mechanics of the protocol plan of God for the Church with special emphasis on the tandem problem solving devices (personal love for God the Father and impersonal love for all mankind).

v. Marriage demands purification and being set apart unto God. You are set apart unto God by the execution of your very own spiritual life. Marriage demands purification by the leader. The husband sets apart the wife from all others by his virtue love.

vi. Just as we constantly wash our bodies, even so we also wash our souls through experiential sanctification with emphasis on by hearers of the spoken word, the accurate teaching of Bible doctrine.

vii. It is metabolized Bible doctrine circulating in the stream of consciousness that deploys the tandem problem solving devices, which creates the integrity envelope for the success of marriage and the fulfillment of the divine laws of marriage. The washing of the water analogy to the spoken word of God results in the integrity envelope, and from the integrity envelope eventuates soul coalescence in marriage.

(b) Just as the humanity of Christ functioned inside the integrity envelope during the first Advent, so the Christian husband can only fulfill the mandates pertaining to him in marriage inside that same integrity envelope. As goes your spiritual life, so goes your marriage. Since the husband is the leader in the marriage, as goes the husband’s spiritual life, so goes the marriage. Christ’s love for the Church is the highest form of love. Christ giving Himself as a substitute for the Church is the highest form of impersonal love. Impersonal love demands sacrifice from time to time, and this is required of the husband. You can never force a woman against her will to do what you want. Both the personal love of the husband for his wife and the obedience and respect of the wife for her husband can only be effective inside the integrity envelope.

© This does not mean if the husband fails the woman should react. Instead of reacting to a carnal husband, the wife should respond to the Lord. The wife is still responsible before the Lord not to react to the husband’s failure. Responding to the Lord instead of reacting to her husband is tantamount to living inside the integrity envelope. If her spiritual life is where it should be, she can maintain the stability of the marriage and lead her husband to the Lord. He will be impressed by her stability in his own failures. If she reacts, then it intensifies the problem.

(d) None of us have the right of reaction because people with whom we are intimate react. Most of us react because other people react. Chain reaction destroys marriages. The man does not have to fail because the woman fails and the woman does not have to fail because the man fails. Just because a woman is a responder, she does not have to react to her husband’s failure. A reacting woman is no better than a cruel man. Wives always blame their husbands when things go wrong. Long before marriage a woman was blaming everyone else for her difficulties and her sorrows.

(e) When a man is a failure as a man, he is almost an impossible person and he takes it all out on his wife. Wife beating is a disaster, a terrible evil, and degeneracy. No woman should ever live under the same roof when her life is in danger or when she is the victim of being battered all over the house.

(f) People go into marriage with fixed patterns of anger, denial, and projection. Neither husbands nor wives take the responsibility for their own bad decisions. Marriage becomes a disaster because it is an accumulation of bad decisions. We are the results of our own decisions and the only cure is the spiritual life. No one changes over night. People change in marriage, and generally for the worse. Everyone thinks marriage and sex is going to solve their problems. It takes two people to recover from failure in a marriage.

(g) The spiritual life inside the integrity envelope protects both husband and wife from vulnerability to rapid decline from their spiritual status to malfunction of their spiritual life. The only way a believer will ever have a successful marriage is to have a successful spiritual life.

(h) The glory of the woman comes from responding to the husband’s personal love inside the integrity envelope. Just as the husband fulfills his authority over the wife through personal love inside the integrity envelope, so our Lord has provided an interim sanctification of the spiritual life in anticipation of the eternal state.

(2) 1 Pet 3:1-2, “In the same way, you wives, be subordinate to your own husbands so that even if they [the believer husband] are disobedient to the word, they may be won without a word by the behavior of their wives, when they observe your pure [virtuous] behavior associated with respect.”

(a) The woman persuades a man without a word by her inner beauty as a responder. A woman’s behavior is more powerful than her words. The behavior of a wife fulfilling these things can do more than words.

(b) Behavior is emphasized because when a wife reacts and criticizes her husband, it is not going to work. The wife’s behavior must be her modus operandi inside the integrity envelope. When a woman is tempted to react to her husband, the solution is to respond as to the Lord.

(3) Tit 2:3-4, “Likewise spiritually adult women in their behavior should take seriously that they belong to God, not slanderers, nor enslaved by too much wine, a teacher of virtue, that they may restore to a right mind the younger women to love their husbands, to love their children.”

(a) The noun PRESBUTIS has an authority concept rather than an age concept and refers to their mature spiritual status.

(b) The phrase KALO DIDASKALOS, “a teacher of virtue,” is an extension of the spiritual gift of helps, in which a woman who is spiritually adult has the responsibility to teach younger women how to love their husbands and how to love their children. This is a special gift of communication by which an adult woman living inside the integrity envelope advises or counsels other women in privacy how to deal with the problem of reaction to a husband in marriage. If a younger woman has the tendency to constantly react to her husband, then she is not subordinate to her husbands authority, and therefore, the spiritually adult woman providing the training, coaching for the younger woman. The purpose of the teacher of virtue is a spiritually adult woman bringing a reacting woman to her senses on how to deal with the problem of reaction. The issue here is a woman training another woman to respond to the Lord rather than react to the circumstances of life, especially her loser husband.

(d) Women in marriage have to be brought to their senses with regard to the habit of reaction. Reaction becomes a devastating habit that robs the woman of the highest capacity of love that a woman can have for a man. A woman cannot react to a man and at the same time respond. When a woman reacts to a man, she does not love her husband. It takes time to bring that love back. A woman in marriage must be trained to respond to the Lord inside the integrity envelope. When a woman is reacting to a man, she is irrational, and a man is not going to be able to reach her by anything is says or does. This is when a man must love his wife as Christ loved the Church. The man cannot afford to counter react against his wife at this point.

(e) To avoid reacting to her husband in marriage, the woman must live inside the integrity envelope, which breaks the power of reaction in her life.

(f) The present active subjunctive of the Greek verb SOPHRONIZO means to restore to a right system of thinking or a right mind. It also means to bring someone to their senses, and from that it means to encourage and advise. Women do not automatically love their husbands or children, especially if they are in a state of reaction. When a woman is reacting, she does not love anyone. Someone has to bring them to their sense, and no man is capable of doing it.

(g) The problem of reaction is subtle. It gravitates towards self-justification because the believer in reaction is often in self-deception. The combination of self-justification and self-deception results in reacting believers entering the modus operandi of denial and projection. Under denial and projection, the reacting believer has accomplished two phases of unreality. The woman has denied the existence of a problem regarding herself. That means she will not take the responsibility for her own decision. She has already settled the matter— her husband is wrong and she is right. Secondly, she has assigned her own faults and blame to the object of projection—her husband. It is all his fault. She stands firm in that in great self-righteousness (which is arrogance) and self-deception. This results in self-absorption. She is so preoccupied with herself, she can do no wrong. In this way, the reaction is continued in a rapid decline to the status of loser believer. The spiritually adult woman who is a teacher of virtue must bring the reacting woman to her senses, urge her to use the integrity envelope, teach her all that is necessary in the analysis of her problem, and give the principles so that she can now make a decision to break out of reaction.

(4) A parallel passage is found in Col 3:19, “Husbands, love your wives, and stop being bitter against them.”

(a) Bitterness and jealousy are two sides of the same coin. Bitterness combines arrogance with irrationality. If you develop a habit of irrational acts as a husband, you are destroying yourself. You will destroy your marriage, but you will also destroy yourself. Even though you expose yourself to doctrine, you are destroying yourself. No one loves another person when they are bitter. Bitterness is irrational and irrational people do not love. Bitterness destroys any leadership ability or potential you may have.

(b) Constant anger destroys you. You are turning your wife away from being a responder. She becomes a reactor and bitter. If you reach a certain stage in your spiritual life, you will not react. We all have to take the responsibility for our own decisions. The woman who does react and become bitter becomes great. With bitterness, the man’s anger has new motivation and he justifies what he does in anger and abuse of authority. No man ever denied a woman her volition without destroying her ability to love him. You cannot love your wife and beat her up.

© When people sin against us, the great temptation is to counterattack and sin against them. This is irrational and destructive. This is how believers can sit in Bible class and never grow up. You cannot survive reacting to people. You cannot survive revenge motivation. You cannot survive malice.

(d) The stopping point is a woman who is responding to the word of God rather than reacting to her husband. The only exception is if you are in physical danger, you have to get out. No woman can respond to or obey a man who is a drunken bum or who beats her up. She must respond to a higher authority, the word of God. If she reacts, she and her husband go down the road to loser believer.

(5) God designed the man for something better than being an animal. He designed the man for leadership through loving the wife inside the integrity envelope. The integrity envelope is made up of the tandem problem solving devices of personal love for God the Father and impersonal love for all mankind. The whole concept of the husband’s authority is based upon the fact he is a leader. He is not in the marriage relationship to be a tyrant. The husband’s bitterness is caused by his failure. The failure is based on the fact he is in denial. He refuses to take responsibility for his own decision. It is inevitable that you will blame your wife, when you do not take the responsibility for your own decision to marry your wife. This is how abuse gets started in marriage. By his love, the husband sets apart his wife in a grace function. The husband’s love for his wife has to be based on grace, not on bitterness. Spiritual leadership requires the filling of the Holy Spirit and metabolized doctrine. More is required of the leader, because if the leader fails, the follower will fail. Marriage is not finding the right woman, marriage is being the right man.

(6) The husband’s fulfillment of the first divine law of marriage is analogous to the modus vivendi of the spiritual life under two analogies: the husband is the umbrella to protect his wife from the transference of affection to someone else and the invisible castle walls of the coalescence of bodies and souls in a sexual relationship going back to the garden of Eden. The integrity envelope is what makes the marriage great. Under these conditions a husband becomes great and the marriage is magnificent. A woman is purified by such love from her husband. Obedience under these conditions is easy for her and is not demeaning to her.

(a) God invented marriage to be a special relationship of unity, intimacy, and privacy between one man and one woman. Marriage becomes effective when physical and soul compatibility merge into one category of compatibility. The idea marriage is when there is a coalescence of both body and soul.

(b) Such a marriage has an invisible castle. The foundation of this castle is built by the Lord Jesus Christ. The foundation of the castle is the two power options of the protocol plan of God—the filling of the Holy Spirit and metabolized doctrine in the stream of consciousness. The husband’s personal love inside the integrity envelope is the superstructure of the invisible castle walls.

© Since the wife is a responder, the invisible castle walls protect her from the outside encroachment of seduction, distraction, and transference of affection to others. Part of that invisible castle wall of the husband’s protection of his wife is sexuality. Sex strengthens the authority of the husband through his personal love inside the integrity envelope. Sex gives the husband a vacation from his authority and the wife a vacation from her subordination.

(7) Just as the husband fulfills his authority over the wife through personal love inside the integrity envelope, so our Lord has provided an interim sanctification of the spiritual life, so that the husband’s love will reside inside the integrity envelope and the husband’s love will set apart one woman in the most magnificent way.

c. Eph 5:28-30, “So husbands ought also to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his own wife loves himself; for no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ also does the church, because we are members of His body.”

(1) Loving self is not necessarily arrogance, but is the first stage of the adult spiritual life—spiritual self-esteem. In the fulfillment of the first law of marriage, the Christian husband illustrates the status of spiritual self-esteem. Just as spiritual self-esteem is the most vulnerable point in the spiritual life, so also a husband’s love for his wife reaches its most vulnerable point at this point in his spiritual life. A husband’s love for his wife peaks out at the point of spiritual self-esteem.

(2) Prov 19:8 is a parallel passage, “He who acquires wisdom keeps on loving his own soul; He who guards understanding prospers.” The coalescence of souls eventually makes marriage successful.

(3) 1 Thes 5:8, “But since we are of the day, let us attain spiritual self-esteem, after we have put on the breastplate of doctrine and virtue love, and as a helmet, the confidence regarding salvation.”

(a) The present active subjunctive of the verb NEPHO means to be free from drunkenness, to be self-controlled, to be well balanced, to understand the sober regulation of the powers one has been given. It consists of acknowledgement of the reality given in God’s revelation and the discharge of the resultant ministry by worship, hope, virtue love. All of this adds up to spiritual self-esteem.

(b) “Since we are of the day” means our spiritual life is related to virtue. Virtue always produces grace orientation and humility rather than legalism and arrogance from morality. The first and second divine laws of marriage have added some things to marriage that have never existed before. The precedence of the husband’s love for his wife has been upgraded to the highest state that will ever exist in history—as Christ loved the Church.

(4) No husband reaches the precedence of the garden of Eden in marriage without personal love for his wife inside the integrity envelope, just as no believer reaches maximum glorification of God without life inside the integrity envelope. When there is coalescence of bodies in sex and coalescence of souls in Bible doctrine, every sexual encounter sets aside the respective mandates to the husband and wife. There sexual encounter takes them both on a vacation back to the garden of Eden.

d. Eph 5:31-33, “`For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother, and will have sex with his wife; and the two will be one flesh’ .This is a great mystery; and I am speaking with reference to Christ and the church. However, you also, each one of you individually so love his wife as himself; and the wife see to it that she respect her husband.” (1) This quotes Gen 2:24 as precedence for marriage. Compare also Mt 19:5; Mk 10:7-8; Eph 5:31.

(2) Sex was created by God and provided for marriage only. When there is a coalescence of both souls and bodies in the conjugal relationship of marriage, sex is a vacation to the precedence which was given in the garden of Eden, when there were no fathers or mothers, 1 Cor 7:4. Coalescence of both souls and bodies in marriage is the most sublime relationship between two human beings.

(3) In the sexual relationship where the husband and wife have soul rapport through residence in the integrity envelope, the authority of the husband and the obedience of the wife are replaced with the quality and equality of sexual interaction. In sexual abandonment to each other in coalescence of their bodies, there is no authority except the rhythm of response and counter response.

(4) 1 Cor 11:11, “However, because of the Lord, neither is woman anything without the man, nor is man anything without the woman.” This means that inside the integrity envelope in the function of their sexual relationship, there are two initiators, two authorities, two responders.

(5) 1 Cor 7:5, “Stop depriving each other, except for a time by mutual consent that you may devote yourselves to prayer, and come together again lest Satan tempt you because of your lack of self-control.”

(6) 1 Pet 3:7, “You husbands likewise, live with your wives on the basis of knowledge, as with a weaker vessel, since she is a woman; and grant her honor as a fellow heir of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered.”

(7) The phrase “This is a great mystery” indicates that this is a part of the mystery doctrine of the Church Age. Mystery doctrine includes analogies to the relationship of the Christian husband to his wife in marriage. The relationship between Christ and the Church both illustrates and establishes precedence between husband and wife in their marriage. The spiritual life of the Church Age is a mystery. Husbands fulfilling the first law of marriage illustrate spiritual self-esteem as the most vulnerable point of the spiritual life and the greatest opportunity for spiritual advance.

I. Marriage Principles.

1. Marriage is more than finding the right person; marriage is being the right person. 2. A person is no better in marriage than he is as a person.

3. A happy marriage is a long conversation that always seems too short. This is coalescence of the souls.

4. For the believer, as goes your spiritual life so goes your marriage. Success or failure in marriage is coterminous with success or failure in your spiritual life.

5. Marriage is not a problem solving device but a problem manufacturing device, and it depends on four spiritual mechanics in order to be successful. There is no substitute for the utilization of two power options, the function of the three spiritual skills, the deployment of the ten problem solving devices, and the execution of the three adult stages of the spiritual life. 6. Principles of Application.

a. Application without truth is false.

b. Application without fact is fiction.

c. Application from emotion is both arrogance and irrationality.

d. Application without doctrinal principles is life without direction.

e. Application without accumulated wisdom in the soul from the function of the four spiritual mechanics is the greatest disaster that can happen to you.

f. Application without metabolization Bible doctrine is distortion and malfunction of the spiritual life.

g. Application without rebound becomes the rapid decline into the status of loser believer.

h. Application without virtue in the integrity envelope is pseudo love, pseudo spirituality.

i. We can do nothing about our past sins and failures, but because of rebound we can do something about our future.

7. Failure in marriage is the failure of your spiritual life. People are no better in marriage than they are as people. Believers are no better in marriage than they are in the function of their spiritual life through the employment of the four spiritual mechanics.

a. Failure includes the sins of the arrogance complex, the sins of the emotional

complex, and the function of the arrogance skills producing problem solving incompetence.

b. Failure to counsel yourself, failure to grow in grace and the knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ is a major problem.

c. Failure to deploy the problem solving devices is a major problem.

8. Failure or success of nations depends on the stability of marriage. Nations break up internally because of the breakdown of marriage.

9. A major frustration in the marital relationship is each spouse expects the other spouse to solve the problems they bring into the marriage. They are each trying to unload their problems on each other. Complications arise when each spouse expects the other to solve their problems.

10. Every time you try to change your partner in marriage, you destroy that marriage. Every conflict puts another nail in the coffin. In marriage, each spouse can only change themselves.

11. Marriages fail because people are failures as human beings. Christians are no better in marriage than they are as people. Marriages fail because Christians marry for the wrong reasons, Christians marry the wrong person. Christians enter marriage with unrealistic expectations, or illusions, brainwashed by myths that marriage is a panacea. Christians enter marriage totally unprepared spiritually to handle their disappointments, their frustrations, their disillusions.

J. The Holy Spirit and Marriage.

1. The moment you believe in Christ you receive forty irrevocable things and one thing you can lose—the filling of the Spirit. Out of the forty irrevocable things, six of them were given directly by God the Holy Spirit: efficacious grace, the sealing of the Holy Spirit, regeneration, the baptism of the Holy Spirit, the indwelling of the Holy Spirit, the distribution of spiritual gifts. None of these things can ever be changed or lost, no matter how a believer fails.

2. The filling of the Spirit is the only ministry of the Spirit that is commanded. You lose the filling of the Spirit when you sin. You are said to grieve or squelch the Holy Spirit. The only way you can recover the filling of the Holy Spirit and your fellowship with God is the rebound technique of 1 Jn 1:9. There five divine mandates regarding the Holy Spirit in your spiritual life.

a. The mandate of the power option is the mandate to be filled with the Holy Spirit, Eph 5:18.

b. The mandate of the spiritual skill is the mandate to walk by means of the Spirit, Gal 5:16.

c. The mandate of Eph 4:23, “then become reinvigorated [refreshed, renewed] by agency of the Spirit by means of your thinking.” This is the mandate to deploy the filling of the Holy Spirit as a problem solving device on the FLOT line of the soul. When you are out of fellowship, none of the problem solving devices function.

d. The mandate to the believer out of fellowship to stop grieving the Holy Spirit, Eph 4:30.

e. The mandate to the loser believer to stop squelching the Holy Spirit, 1 Thes 5:19.

3. There is no way any believer will ever have a successful marriage without the ministry of the Holy Spirit. Marriage will fail without the power of God the Holy Spirit.

a. You should have a marriage based on virtue, a marriage in which the integrity envelope guarantees the fulfillment of the three laws of marriage.

b. The Holy Spirit sponsors successful marriages for believers. Eph 5:25-26, “Husbands, love your wives, as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself as a substitute for her, that having purified her, He might cause her to be sanctified by means of the washing of the water in association with the spoken word.”

(1) The filling of the Holy Spirit is what purifies a marriage and makes it work.

(2) God the Holy Spirit sets apart Christian marriage as something very special to God by the spiritual life. If you wash your body every day, why not wash your soul every day. How much more important is it to wash your soul every day than to wash your body.

c. Our relationship to Jesus Christ is analogous to marriage.

d. The worst marriages are the ones where rebound is neglected and there is no filling of the Spirit.

4. Conclusion.

a. Eph 5:33, “However, you husbands also, each one of you individually, let him so love his wife as himself; and the wife see to it that she respects her husband.”

(1) The mandate for husbands to love his wife is only accomplished by the two power options, which result in the three spiritual skills, which deploy the tandem problem solving devices, which make a successful marriage. If you are a believer, you do not love your wife for any other reason.

(2) The wife’s respect for her husband is accomplished by the two power options, which result in the three spiritual skills, which deploy the tandem problem solving devices, which make a successful marriage.

(3) God the Holy Spirit, the first power option, the first spiritual skill, the second problem solving device, our mentor, our teacher is the One who makes a Christian marriage successful. If there is no spiritual life, there is no successful marriage.

b. As goes your spiritual life, so goes your marriage. There is no spiritual life without the filling of the Holy Spirit. Therefore, the divine mandate to walk by agency of the Spirit is the function of the four spiritual skills under the divine power of God the Holy Spirit.

c. God the Holy Spirit is the mentor of our marriage. The marriage of two believers requires much more than the observance of the laws of divine establishment and the morality which is extrapolated from the establishment principles. When you are grieving and squelching the Holy Spirit, you are destroying your marriage. The marriage of two believers demands the consistent function of the four spiritual mechanics of the spiritual life. Christian marriage must be set apart unto God by the filling of the Holy Spirit and walking by agency of the Holy Spirit.

d. God the Holy Spirit is the One who sanctifies, purifies, and provides the power for a successful marriage between two believers.

K. Marriage And The Elective Decrees. 1. One of the greatest factors in the spiritual life is thinking. God created mankind to resolve the prehistoric angelic conflict through the function of the human soul with emphasis on the mentality of the soul, Phil 2:5; 1 Cor 2:16; Eph 4:23; 1 Tim 1:14; Rom 12:2-3; 1 Cor 10:12; Phil 3:15. Since the spiritual life is a system of thinking, thinking divine viewpoint in marriage is important. Thinking is where all soul rapport occurs. 2. The restriction of sex to marriage from the beginning of the human race relates the believer to his involvement in resolving the prehistoric angelic conflict, and this explains the order of the divine decrees.

a. The decree of God is His eternal, holy, wise, and sovereign purpose, comprehending at once all things that ever were or will be in their causes, conditions, successions, relations, and determining their certain futurition.

b. This does not mean that God hindered free will in any way.

3. The Elective Decrees.

a. God decreed to create all mankind with free will in the status of perfection and in perfect environment to resolve the angelic conflict and to bring many sons into glory.

b. God decreed to permit the fall of mankind through the function of his own volition and self-determination in the state of perfect environment. This duplicates the fall of Satan and the subsequent existence of fallen angels.

c. God decreed to provide eternal salvation for all mankind under the doctrine of unlimited atonement. God did not leave the first parents hanging. God has provided in all dispensations something to make a wonderful marriage for anyone who will use his volition and establish the right values in order to have a fantastic marriage. But in the Church Age, we have the greatest things God ever gave to stabilize a marriage—the four mechanics of the spiritual life.

d. God decreed to leave those who reject Jesus Christ as savior to their just condemnation, Jn 3:18, 36.

e. God decreed simultaneously in eternity past both election and predestination for believers only. Election is the expression of the sovereignty of God, who wills the highest and best for every believer. The omniscience of God knew in eternity past what man or woman would be perfect for you in marriage. Predestination is the provision of the sovereignty of God, who provides the highest and best for every believer. The Bible states that man is the object of grace after, not before, the fall in Jn 15:9, Rom 11:5-7; Eph 1:4-6; 1 Pet 1:2. God has provided for us rebound, the filling of the Spirit, Bible doctrine, and problem solving devices.

f. God decreed to apply salvation to everyone who personally believes in Jesus Christ. The decree includes the omnipotence of God the Holy Spirit related to gospel hearing in both common and efficacious grace.

g. God decreed to provide a spiritual life for the Church Age believer related to the prehistoric angelic conflict. This spiritual life purifies, sanctifies, fortifies, makes a marriage the most fantastic relationship that can exist in the human race. The execution of this spiritual life through the four spiritual mechanics results in maximum glorification of God as a winner believer, invisible hero, and witness for the Prosecution in Satan’s appeal trial.

4. You will never have a successful marriage beyond the function of the utilization of the function of the two power options, the three spiritual skills, the ten problem solving devices, and the execution of the three stages of the adult spiritual life. This is what the last elective decree is all about. The seventh elective decree is the fulfillment of the spiritual life under the filling of the Spirit. You are the only one who can fulfill your spiritual life; no one else can do it for you. The execution of the adult spiritual life is where marriage is great.

a. Every circumstance of life emphasizes a different aspect of the will of God for the believer, and marriage is no exception. Marriage is often the greatest index to whether or not you are making any progress in your spiritual life. Marriage is a good way in which divine testing can occur.

b. The will of God for the believer in marriage is summarized by the three divine laws of marriage. The husband loves the wife, the wife obeys and respects her husband, and both are responsible for residing in the integrity envelope. The wife will always resent the command to be obedient to her husband and think it demeaning until her spiritual life is in such a state that she has respect for her husband. A woman obeying her husband never feels threatened when she reaches the point of respect.

c. Mutual responsibility in marriage does not mean a partnership. There is no such thing as partnership in marriage. Partnership suggests equality and there is no equality in marriage. Mutual responsibility is found in the third law of marriage, Eph 4:31-32, “All bitterness, both anger and wrath, both quarreling and slander must be removed from you, along with all malice. Rather become kind toward one another, compassionate, forgiving each other, just as God also by means of Christ has forgiven you.”

(1) The function of impersonal love provides the capacity for this kindness and keeps the husband from being abusive.

(2) The only way you can become compassionate is by deploying impersonal love as a problem solving devices on the FLOT line of the soul.

(3) There is no such thing as one partner in marriage being perfectly right. When you are out of fellowship, you are wrong too. Therefore, each must forgive the other, because both are wrong.

L. Response or Reaction of the Woman.

1. Respect is the highest form of virtue love the woman can have for the man. Respect is admiration and approbation combined with deference and partiality, so that the object of such esteem occupies a special place in the soul of such a woman. Admiration and approbation is her love. Deference and partiality is her obedience. The woman is not only different bodily, but she is also different from the man in her soul.

a. A woman’s love is defined in terms of a woman’s nature as a responder. Esteem and admiration for a man is formed in the soul of a woman who resides in the integrity envelope. Personal love for God provides the motivation for the woman’s love in friendship, romance, and marriage. Impersonal love for all mankind provides the woman’s capacity for love.

b. A woman is weaker because she is a responder. When a woman is not responding, she is reacting. When do not give a woman anything to which respond, she is going to react.

c. The key to a woman’s love is respect; for respect is the source of her love response. The woman is more emotional than the man, but emotion is not love. Emotion is not love and love is not emotion. Love is thinking in the soul. People make the mistake of getting married based on emotion rather than based on love. When a woman transfers her affection to another man than her husband, this involves her emotion. Her emotion blinds her to the merits of her husband. How does God punish her? One day she wakes up and realizes she walked away from the best thing she ever had.

(1) Because a woman is vulnerable as a responder, she must be protected. She must learn to protect her ability to respond by the use of the four spiritual mechanics of the protocol plan of God.

(2) Because a woman is a responder, she is also a reactor. Because she is a reactor, she will react to something wonderful that she has and destroy her marriage and her life.

d. True virtue love inside the integrity envelope is not how you feel, but personal love inside the integrity envelope. No one has a better chance at doing it all right in a marriage than the born again woman.

2. The woman has freedom of soul. No man can force a woman to love him either by flattery or by tyranny. A woman may respond to flattery but she still does not love you. The woman must be given something to which to respond. She must be loved as Christ loved the Church.

3. Since a woman is a responder, her love must originate from her own volition in her own soul. Therefore what a woman does not give freely from her soul is not worth having. 4. A woman must have freedom in her soul to love a man; for a woman can only respond through respect, which is admiration, approbation, and deference, which exist in the soul’s stream of consciousness before she can have a true love for a man.

5. The real problem for the woman in personal love is her priorities and values in life. A woman is no better in love than her values. Some women are incapable of having true love because their priorities and values are all mixed up. If her values are wrong, she will never make it in marriage.

6. If the woman does not make Bible doctrine number one priority in her life and does not acquire a system of values from the four spiritual mechanics, she will deprive herself of capacity for true love which is compatible with her response reflexes of the soul.

7. This is why fornication and adultery is so devastating to the woman’s capacity for love of a man. Premarital sex never makes a marriage successful.

8. Sex is not the issue in true love. This means that the role of sex must be defined in terms of Bible doctrine.

9. Sex outside of marriage is a system of lust from the sin nature and sin by volitional involvement. This destroys capacity for any genuine or true love in the soul.

10. Sex was designed by God to be an expression of love in marriage. Sex was invented by God for marriage only. Sex outside of marriage is always punished by the supreme court of heaven. In marriage, sex is the body language for what is in the soul.

M. The Vulnerability of the Woman.

1. Marriage is the first divine institution in history that involved more than one person. Marriage is the great stabilizer in society. From the stability of two people come stability in society.

2. The first marriage in history was compatible with the trichotomous nature of mankind—body, soul, and spirit. Since more than one person is involved in the divine institution of marriage, a system of authority was necessary in which the man in a state of marriage had the authority over the woman. But this authority was not demeaning where love exists.

a. 1 Tim 2:11, “Let a woman quietly receive instruction with entire submissiveness.” Because a woman is a responder, she has to learn to listen. She has to learn to concentrate. Under this system, the woman comes out far stronger than the man.

b. 1 Tim 2:12, “But I do not allow a woman to teach or exercise authority over a man, but to remain quiet.” The quiet woman is the woman who has the principles of doctrine in her soul. This does not mean that a woman does not talk. Her soul has to find something to which to respond. The responses come from learning. We all learn by not talking. When a woman reacts, she is not listening to what you are saying, she is thinking about she is going to say.

c. 1 Tim 2:14, “And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being completely deceived, fell into transgression.” She should have been listening instead of talking. She talked her way right into Satan’s trap.

3. As a responder, the woman is vulnerable to the dangers of premarital sex. Premarital sex destroys the virtue and values on which compatibility and rapport in marriage are founded. Generally, both the man and the woman enter premarital sex to satisfy their libido; hence, the involvement of self-absorption.

4. When a woman stops responding to the man she loves, she begins reacting to him. Reaction destroys the spiritual values and doctrines in her soul, making her vulnerable to retrograde or backward movement of her spiritual life. Reaction leads to mental attitude and verbal sins. The sin nature takes over the soul, and a rapid decline to loser believer follows. The vulnerable woman may enter into the stages of reversionism. Under such conditions, the lust pattern of the sin nature takes control of the life and wipes out spiritual values and metabolized doctrine in the soul. The lust pattern takes over in the soul permanently until there is rebound.

5. The pattern of 2 Tim 3 often emerges in connection with sexual lust.

a. 2 Tim 3:4, “treacherous, reckless, arrogant, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God.”

b. 2 Tim 3:6, “For among them are those who creep into homes and seduce silly women weighed down with sins, led on by various lusts.”

6. Reaction destroys the integrity envelope which protects the woman from such folly, 1 Tim 5:6, “But she who lives in wanton pleasure is dead while she lives.” This is spiritual death, the woman out of fellowship.

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R. B. Thieme, Jr., Bible Ministries 5139 West Alabama, Houston, Texas 77056 (713) 621-3740