Outline of Chapter 13:

Introduction

         vv.     1–2           Amnon Rapes Tamar: Introduction

         vv.     3–6           Amnon Rapes Tamar: the Planning, which Involves King David

         v.       7           Amnon Rapes Tamar: King David is Duped

         vv.     8–14         Amnon Rapes Tamar: the Execution of the Plan

         vv.    15–20         Amnon Rapes Tamar: the Aftermath

         v.       21           The Impotent King

         vv.    22–23         Absalom Kills Amnon: the Waiting

         vv.    24–27         Absalom Kills Amnon: King David is Involved

         vv.    28–29         Absalom Kills Amnon: the Execution of the Plan

         vv.    30–36         Absalom Kills Amnon: the Aftermath; David’s Sons Run Home to David

         vv.    37–39         Absalom Flees to His Grandfather in Geshur 

Addendum

Charts, Maps and Short Doctrines:

         Introduction         Matthew Henry’s Simple Outline of 2samuel 13

         Introduction         A Portion of the Davidic Timeline

         Introduction         What Each Installment of Restitution Means

         Introduction         David’s Sons and Daughters

         Introduction         A Brief History of the Hurrians

         Introduction         A Map of the Early Hurrian Empire

         Introduction         The Three Mothers: Ahinoam, Abigail and Maacah

         Introduction         Single Parent Statistics

         Introduction         New Translations Used in this Chapter

         v.       1              Amnon’s Sexual Obsession

         v.       1              David, His Wives, and the Children born to him in Hebron

         v.       3              The “Friendship” of Amnon and Jonadab

         v.       5              Summary Points on Jonadab’s Advice

         v.       5              Jonadab’s Lack of Character

         v.       5              Jonadab’s Aspirations

         v.       5              Jonadab’s Plan

         v.       5              Entitlement Arrogance and Amnon

         v.       6              A Summary of 2Samuel 13:6

         v.       7              A Summary of 2Samuel 13:6–7

         v.       7              A Psychological Profile of These People So Far

         v.       9              The Wâw consecutive and the Imperfect Tense

         v.       9              Tamar’s Situation and Psyche

         v.      12              The Grounds for Tamar’s Objection

         v.      13              Tamar’s Pleas

         v.      15              Characteristics of the Psychopathic Personality and Amnon

         v.      15              Sex and Love

         v.      16              The Textual Problems of 2Sam. 13:16a

         v.      16              A Summary of 2Samuel 13:16

         v.      16              A Public Humiliation Following a Private Humiliation

         v.      17              Tamar—a Picture of Innocence Destroyed by Sin

         v.      18              Tamar, the Law and the Outside World

         v.      19              Why Did God Remove the Wall of Protection Around Tamar?

         v.      20              Tamar Remained in the House of Absalom, Her Brother

         v.      20              What We Know About Tamar’s Future

         v.      21              Textual Criticism and 2Samuel 13:21

         v.      21              2Samuel 13:21c–e Text from the Greek Septuagint

         v.      21              David was a Lousy Disciplinarian

         v.      21              Why is the Word of God not Perfectly and Supernaturally Preserved?

         v.      21              The Pulpit Commentary on David’s Non-Action

         v.      21              Practical Parenting From Proverbs by Richard J. Boone

         v.      21              Questionable Sources

         v.      22              Absalom’s Will Choose Revenge

         v.      23              Map of Baal-hazor and Geshur

         v.      24              2Samuel 13:24 Summarized

         v.      27              2Samuel 13:27c Additional Text from the Greek Septuagint

         v.      28              Why Don’t Absalom’s Servants Object?

         v.      30              How Does the Message Get There before David’s Sons Do?

         v.      30              What we learn from a message coming to David this quickly

         v.      34              The Jonadab Plot

         v.      34              2Samuel 13:34d Additional Text from the Greek Septuagint

         v.      35              The Doctrine of Jonadab

         v.      37              Just Who is Talmai ben Ammihur, the king of Geshur?

         v.      39              Different Interpretations of 2Samuel 13:39a

         Addendum          A Complete Translation of 2Samuel 13

         Addendum          The Pulpit Commentary on Absalom’s Future

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An Introduction to 2Samuel 13

I ntroduction: 2Sam. 13 is quite an amazing chapter. When David had been restored to fellowship, God warned him: So says Jehovah, “Listen up, I will raise up evil against you out of your house, and I will take your wives before your eyes and give them to your neighbor. And he shall lie with your wives in the sight of the sun.” (2Sam. 12:11). In this chapter, the first portion of God’s promise is fulfilled: “I will raise up evil against you out of your own house.” David’s eldest son, Amnon, will rape his half-sister, Tamar. Tamar’s older brother, Absalom, will then plot to kill Amnon. This is the evil from David’s own house that he will face. The sins which David committed would find their parallels in the crimes committed by his own children.

All of David’s sons and one daughter are found in this chapter—three of whom are named—yet Jehovah Elohim is not mentioned. We develop a greater understanding of their living arrangements, their morality, their character and their relationship to God. For most of them, it appeared as though they had no relationship to God.

This chapter is also another installment of discipline for David because of his taking of Bathsheba, a married woman, and then his killing of her husband. The background for this is found in in 2Sam. 11 (HTML) (PDF) and in 2Sam. 12 (HTML) (PDF). As has been discussed in 2Sam. 12, David had gone so far in his lust for Bathsheba (and for women in general), that this needed to be dealt with severely, or that would be a mark of David’s life forever more, which would destroy the kingdom of Israel and his position as king. Obviously, when David is in fellowship, it is no longer discipline, but suffering for blessing, and the suffering is to make it clear to him, at the most fundamental level, that his alley cat ways cannot continue. In fact, this suffering, which is directly related to his sin of 2Sam. 11, will eventually cure his continued sexual lust.

Sexual lust, sexual addiction and sexual arrogance are very much a part of this and previous chapters of Samuel. The sexual arrogance gate (HTML) (PDF) is one place to go for background teaching on this. Degeneracy sins (HTML) (PDF) is covered in 2Sam. 11 (HTML) (PDF). There are a great many other related doctrines both found in 2Sam. 11 and 2Sam. 12 (HTML) (PDF).

In the past, David had great men heading his army who could go to war and lead a great army against most of their enemies. David would be consulted, but, for the most part, David was not required to be involved in wartime matters on a day to day basis. So, for a few years, David had some time to tomcat around. His soldiers—which would be much of the male population—would be off to war in the Spring, so that David, the most eligible and sought after non-bachelor in town, could fancy the womenfolk. We do not know how long this continued. Some timelines suggest as long as 10 years.

When we get to 2Sam. 11, David had gotten to the point where he lusted after a woman and took her without regards to her marital status (Bathsheba). And then, because he was unable to manipulate her husband, David had this noble man killed in battle. As a result, David’s suffering for blessing will include the death of their infant son (2Sam. 12), the rape of his daughter Tamar and the murder of David’s son, Amnon (2Sam. 13) followed by the rebellion of Absalom against David (2Sam. 14–18). All of this is based upon David’s sin with Bathsheba and her husband Uriah.

Have you ever wanted to take a liberal and shake him and reason with him and then shake him again and then reason with him, until you finally get him past his faulty liberal thinking? You know that, if given enough time, enough shaking, and if you spent enough time reasoning with him, showing him again and again examples where liberal solutions make a country worse and not better, you could finally straighten him out. But it would take time and great effort to reach down past all of his false knowledge and prejudices and confusion to a core of rational thinking that you could build upon. This is what God is doing with David, but with his sexual sins. God is showing David how giving in to his unbridled lust results in suffering for the entire country.

What David has done will affect his life and the direction of nation Israel for the next 10 years. This is because God stepped in, by means of Nathan, and put a halt to David’s unbridled sexual desires. Had God not done this and had David not responded, Israel could have fallen as a nation during those 10 years or soon thereafter.

Recall from 1Sam. 15, that King Saul had done wrong, and God sent Samuel to speak to Saul. This was a crossroads in the life of Saul and in the life of Israel.

Application: The greater your authority, influence and/or social circle, the more affect your sin nature is going to have on other people. Do not think that God is going to give you some great position of authority so that you can simply use your authority to satisfy your sexual lusts.

In that era, a king taking many wives and mistresses was not out of the ordinary. In fact, certain successful and dynamic men were able to pull this off, and that is what David did. He began with Michel, whom he temporarily lost, the love of his youth; but, when in reversionism, he took to himself 2 more wives (Ahinoam and Abigail), and this began his problems with sexual lust and polygamy.

Some sins, up to a certain point, do not destroy a person’s life. However, David’s sexual lust had begun to define him as a person and to take him into areas of his sin nature which people for centuries have found shocking. He has reached a point where, if he continues with succumbing to this lust—and he is clearly addicted—he would destroy Israel and die the sin unto death. So, this chapter continues shaping David’s thinking, making it clear to him why succumbing to his sexual lust for so many years was wrong.

What happens in this chapter is a clear result of his sexual lusts and polygamy over the years. In fact, to prepare for this chapter, you may want to examine the Doctrine of Polygamy (HTML) (PDF).

Three of David’s children in particular play prominent parts in this chapter. The first two are Absalom and Tamar, who are David’s son and daughter by Maacah. Maacah is David’s only royal wife. She is the daughter of Talmai, the king of Geshur. It is possible that David married her for political reasons—to have a strong political alliance with Geshur—but he apparently liked this woman and had 2 children by her. David obviously had little to do with raising his children; but this royal woman raised her children to be royalty—it was in her training and she passed this along, the best that she could. However, essentially, she raised these 2 as a single mother. The strong hand of a father to guide these children was never there.

A Map of the Early Hurrian Empire

From: http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/c/c8/Orientmitja2300aC.png

The other mother here—Ahinoam—was one of David’s first wives, probably his first after Michel and he were separated by circumstances. David would have met Ahinoam the Jezreelitess when he was out in the desert wilderness running from Saul—maybe she was one of the people who came to him, or the adult daughter of someone who had come to him (1Sam. 22:2). Her name means my brother is delightful (pleasant, beautiful); and David’s marriage to her was probably a result of her being very attractive (which is suggested by her name). However, we know next to nothing about this woman, other than these things. She is nearly always mentioned in conjunction with Abigail, David’s other wife of that early era (who was a very classy and intelligent woman) and she bears David’s firstborn son, Amnon.

What seems to be suggested here is, David is first and foremost attracted to Ahinoam and he marries her and immediately has a son by her. However, when he meets a woman with character and spunk—Abigail—David thinks, “Now, that’s the kind of woman I want!” And so he marries her, probably while Ahinoam is pregnant with Amnon.

What will be clear by this narrative is, Amnon has no training whatsoever. He suffers from David’s sexual lust, and is willing to do anything to satiate his desires. He will lie and deceive, as long as it takes him where he wants to go. In this chapter, he will plot to get his half-sister Tamar alone with him in a room and then he will rape her; after which, he will throw her out of his palace. He is a despicable, selfish, and heartless man.

Essentially, over the years, David has impregnated a lot of single mothers. When it comes to training up any of his children, he waits a long time before he recognizes that this is a part of his responsibility. So, we know there are so many single mothers living off the state; that is essentially what was going on with David’s wives. They lived off the state; David was more than generous with their living quarters, as we find that Amnon and Tamar live in separate homes and that they appear to have a staff under them—but it is also clear that Amnon is a lusting, self-centered young man with little or no self-control. Here is where a father is important. Mothers often have a difficult time disciplining their children and they are too softhearted about it. Amnon probably reminded Ahinoam of David, so he was almost a surrogate for David. Therefore, she indulged this little boy until he became a young man with raging hormones and no ability to control them. A father exerts external controls on his sons until they grow to a point where they can control themselves. Amnon did not have this. His father was the King of Israel and his father had many other wives and sons; so King David could be the hands-on parent that he needed to be.

What happens when you have children who are raised only by the mother, who have a sense of entitlement, and the ability to get much of what they want? This results in 2Sam. 13.

Application: It is not the material things that you give your children that count; it is the time and training that both parents give these children.

Application: Our society has determined that we should just give money, food and housing to these single mothers and that will solve the problem. Note here that all of David’s wives and children have all of their physical needs met. He is the king. So no one suffers from want. However, his children end up in great conflict because David, the father, does not take the time to train them. The key to raising children properly is a good father, not meeting all of their physical needs.

Application: For all intents and purposes, women are told in the United States that, if they have children out of wedlock, Uncle Sam will pay for their food and housing. The less responsibility that they exhibit, the greater will be their remuneration from the government. No job, no husband means more money and a better house. In other words, our government encourages women to do everything wrong and will pay them to do so. It is the old adage: tax something if you want less of it; subsidize something if you want more of it. The more rich people are taxed, the fewer rich people there will be; the more single mothers are given, the more single mothers there will be.

Application: Taking this one step further, how do you solve these problems? Simply removing welfare for single mothers would solve this problem, although, this could not be done overnight. Such people would have to be weaned off of welfare and life subsidies. This is done by limiting freedom and requiring greater responsibility. Food stamps (or, the food stamp card) should be limited to milk, cereal, fresh fruits and vegetables, meat, chicken and fish. Prepared and packaged food should be disallowed; and sweets and junk food should be disallowed. Those on housing, each year, must contribute more to their own housing, which means they must earn more from year to year, so that they can contribute more. New applicants should be screened more rigorously; those with family would be disallowed help.

Okay, back to David, Amnon, Tamar and Absalom.

Part I: Amnon Rapes Tamar: What happens in this chapter is, Amnon, David’s oldest son, lusts after Tamar his half-sister (vv. 1–2). He has a ner-do-well friend, Jonadab, one of David’s nephews, who suggests a plan to get him alone in the same room with Tamar (vv. 3–5). So, Amnon goes ahead with Jonadab’s plan, which involves acting sick (as if he had been poisoned) and asking for Tamar to come and feed him directly (vv. 6–10). When they are alone, and Tamar begins to feed Amnon, he grabs her and forces her to have sex with him, despite her pleas not for him to do this (vv. 11–14). Given the era and her position, Tamar’s virginity is meaningful; and now that she no longer a virgin, she is tainted, even though this was not her fault. Amnon, meanwhile, having satisfied himself, now hates Tamar as strongly as he lusted after, and orders her thrown out (vv. 15–16). Again, Tamar tries to reason with Amnon, and he is not interested; he has her thrown out of his palace and she wanders about crying (vv. 17–19). Her brother Absalom figures out pretty quickly what was going on and her father David is quite angry (vv. 20–21). However, nothing appears to come from David’s anger.

Part II: Absalom Kills Amnon: Absalom apparently bides his time with Amnon, pretending as though he has no strong feelings about Amnon, one way or the other (vv. 22–23). He sets up a party to coincide with the shearing of his sheep at his ranch in northeastern Israel and he asks his father, the king, who politely refuses (vv. 24–25). Who Absalom wants at the party is Amnon, so he specifically asks King David to see to it that Amnon is there, and David agrees to that (vv. 26–27). Having everything in Jerusalem put into place, Absalom instructs his own servants to pay attention to Amnon, and when he is slightly drunk and when Absalom gives the go-ahead, his servants are to kill Amnon (v. 28). Absalom’s plan comes off without a hitch, and Amnon is killed before his eyes (v. 29a). All of his brothers, also attending the party, panic, and jump on their mules and make a run for it (v. 29b).

Part III: The Aftermath: David is at his palace in Jerusalem and he receives a report from up north that Absalom has killed all of his sons (v. 30). David and his servants begin crying and tearing their clothing (v. 31). Jonadab suddenly steps up and tells David that Absalom killed Amnon only, which was something that he had purposed to do 2 years ago (vv. 32–33). David’s watchman sees a cloud of dust and many people coming quickly along the mountainside, and Jonadab steps forward once more and says, “Those are your sons coming.” (vv. 34–35). The king’s sons come into the palace to a great deal of emotion white Absalom flees to the district of Geshur where his grandfather rules, remaining there for 3 years (vv. 36–39).

As in any narrative in the Bible, there is a lot more that we can get out of this other than the general plot points and character developments, which is what will endeavor to do in the next 300 pages or so.

Most of the history of David’s life, beginning here and continuing to 2Sam. 23, is not found in the book of Chronicles (apart from a few isolated incidents).

You will have some difficulty relating to the cultural norms and experiences found in this chapter. First thing is, Tamar, as a young girl, was never alone with any of her half-brothers. It is likely that she was never even alone with her own brother, Absalom. This simply did not occur in that era, particularly among royalty. It is possible that part of this was simply due to having smaller homes with fewer rooms. A young woman would simply not be alone in a room with a male. A typical house was a 10' square, one-room dwelling. So, how could a young boy and girl be alone? For royalty, even though they had more rooms and larger rooms, but the norms for the women were the same—young women did not accidentally end up alone with young men.

Secondly, virginity was the norm and understood to be the norm. A woman had sex with one man and one man only throughout her entire life. Dating, premarital sex, and experimentation were virtually unknown to these people. Adultery was a sin punishable by death (Lev. 20:10). Because of this, even rape was viewed differently; and it was not abnormal for a man who has raped a woman to be first fined and placed into an undissolvable marriage with the woman he has raped (Deut. 22:28–29).

One more thing: God presents truth to us in a variety of ways. In the epistles, it was concentrated doctrine; in the psalms, it is through poetry; but hee, it is by means of an historical narrative. The amount of doctrinal material in this chapter is going to be phenomenal. When all is said and done, there will be over 300 pages of commentary on this one chapter. There will be episodes and situations which are unique to the Word of God; and we will be able to understand those lessons, even though they took place over 3000 years ago, and there is no running commentary written into the Word of God to tell us the lessons that we need to understand. These things will be revealed in the narrative itself.

——————————

Amnon Rapes Tamar: Introduction

Here is how others have translated this verse:

Ancient texts:                       Note: I compare the Hebrew text to English translations of the Latin, Syriac and Greek texts, using the Douay-Rheims translation ; George Lamsa’s translation, and Sir Lancelot Charles Lee Brenton’s translation as revised and edited by Paul W. Esposito, respectively. I often update these texts with non-substantive changes (e.g., you for thou, etc.). I often use the text of the Complete Apostles’ Bible instead of Brenton’s translation, because it updates the English text.

The Septuagint was the earliest known translation of a book (circa 200 b.c.). Since this translation was made before the textual criticism had been developed into a science and because different books appear to be translated by different men, the Greek translation can sometimes be very uneven.

When there are serious disparities between my translation and Brenton’s (or the text of the Complete Apostles’ Bible), I look at the Greek text of the Septuagint (the LXX) to see if a substantive difference actually exists (and I reflect these changes in the English rendering of the Greek text). I use the Greek LXX with Strong’s numbers and morphology available for e-sword. The only problem with this resource (which is a problem for similar resources) is, there is no way to further explore Greek verbs which are not found in the New Testament. Although I usually quote the Complete Apostles’ Bible here, I have begun to make changes in the translation when their translation conflicts with the Greek and note what those changes are.

The Masoretic text is the Hebrew text with all of the vowels (vowel points) inserted (the original Hebrew text lacked vowels). We take the Masoretic text to be the text closest to the original. However, differences between the Masoretic text and the Greek, Latin and Syriac are worth noting and, once in a great while, represent a more accurate text possessed by those other ancient translators.

In general, the Latin text is an outstanding translation from the Hebrew text into Latin and very trustworthy (I say this as a non-Catholic). Unfortunately, I do not read Latin—apart from some very obvious words—so I am dependent upon the English translation of the Latin (principally, the Douay-Rheims translation).

Underlined words indicate differences in the text.

Bracketed portions of the Dead Sea Scrolls are words, letters and phrases lost in the scroll due to various types of damage. Underlined words or phrases are those in the Dead Sea Scrolls but not in the Masoretic text.

Latin Vulgate                          And it came to pass after this that Ammon the son of David loved the sister of Absalom the son of David, who was very beautiful, and her name was Thama.

Masoretic Text (Hebrew)        And so he is after so: and to Absalom, a son of David, a sister, beautiful, and her name, Tamar. And so desires her Amnon, a son of David.

Peshitta (Syriac)                    AND it came to pass after this, that Absalom the son of David had a sister whose name was Tamar; and Amnon the son of David loved her.

Septuagint (Greek)                And it happened after this that Absalom the son of David had a very beautiful sister, and her name was Tamar; and Amnon the son of David loved her.

Significant differences:           And it came to pass or it happened after this are reasonable translations from the Hebrew text. The relative pronoun found in the English of the Latin and Syriac is not out of line with the actual Hebrew.

The final verb is legitimately translated to love, to desire. The English translation of the Latin text dramatically changes the word order.

So, even though the English translation seems slightly different, there is nothing which calls into question the Hebrew text of this verse.

Thought-for-thought translations; paraphrases:

Christian Community Bible     Now David’s son Absalom had a beautiful sister named Tamar. It happened that Amnon, another of David’s sons, loved her..

Common English Bible           Amnon rapes Tamar

Some time later, David's son Amnon fell in love with Tamar the beautiful sister of Absalom, who was also David's son.

Contemporary English V.       David had a beautiful daughter named Tamar, who was the sister of Absalom. She was also the half sister of Amnon, who fell in love with her.

Easy English (Pocock)           David had a son called Absalom and another son called Amnon. Absalom had a beautiful sister called Tamar. Amnon loved Tamar.

Easy-to-Read Version            David had a son named Absalom. Absalom’s sister was named Tamar. Tamar was very beautiful. Another one of David’s sons, Amnon [Amnon was half-brother to Absalom and Tamar. They all had David as their father, but Amnon had a different mother. See 2Sam. 3:2–3.],...

Good News Bible (TEV)         David's son Absalom had a beautiful unmarried sister named Tamar. Amnon, another of David's sons, fell in love with her.

The Message                         Some time later, this happened: Absalom, David's son, had a sister who was very attractive. Her name was Tamar. Amnon, also David's son, was in love with her.

New Berkeley Version           About 990 b.c.

After this, it developed that David’s son Amnon fell in love with a beautiful sister of David’s son Absalom, whose name was Tamar.

New Living Translation           The Rape of Tamar

Now David's son Absalom had a beautiful sister named Tamar. And Amnon, her half brother, fell desperately in love with her.

Partially literal and partially paraphrased translations:

American English Bible          Now, AbSalom (one of David's sons) had a very pretty sister named Tamar, and AmNon (another son of David) was in love with her. 2 In fact, he was so smitten with her that he was sick. Tamar (his sister) was a virgin, and AmNon would have done anything to have her.

Ancient Roots Translinear      So afterward, Absalom the son of David had a beautiful sister, named Tamar. Amnon the son of David loved her.

Beck’s American Translation Later, the following happened. Absalom, David’s son, had a beautiful sis. Her name was Tamar. And Amnon, David’s son, fell in love with her.

God’s Word™                         After this, David's son Amnon fell in love with Tamar, the beautiful sister of David's son Absalom.

New American Bible              Amnon's Rape of Tamar.

After this, the following occurred. David's son Absalom had a beautiful sister named Tamar, and David's son Amnon loved her [2Sam. 3:2-3 1Chron. 3:9].

NIRV                                      Some time later, David's son Amnon fell in love with Tamar. She was the beautiful sister of Absalom. He was another one of David's sons.

New Jerusalem Bible             After this, the following events took place. Absalom son of David had a beautiful sister whose name was Tamar; Amnon son of David fell in love with her.

New Simplified Bible              David had a beautiful daughter named Tamar. She was Absalom’s sister. She was also the half sister of Amnon. Amnon fell in love with her.

Revised English Bible            The following occurred some time later. David’s son Absalom had a beautiful sister named Tamar, and David’s son Amnon fell in love with her.

Mostly literal renderings (with some occasional paraphrasing):

Bible in Basic English             Now after this, it came about that Absalom, David's son, had a beautiful sister, whose name was Tamar; and David's son Amnon was in love with her.

Complete Jewish Bible           Now Avshalom the son of David had a beautiful sister named Tamar. Some time after the previous events, Amnon the son of David fell in love with her.

HCSB                                     Some time passed. David's son Absalom had a beautiful sister named Tamar, and David's son Amnon was infatuated with her.

JPS (Tanakh—1985)               This happened sometime afterward: Absalom son of David had a beautiful sister named Tamar, and Amnon son of David became infatuated with her.

NET Bible®                             The Rape of Tamar

Now David's son Absalom had a beautiful sister named Tamar. In the course of time David's son Amnon fell madly in love with her [Heb "Amnon the son of David loved her." The following verse indicates the extreme nature of his infatuation, so the translation uses "madly in love" here.]. When it comes to making an actual material change to the text, the NET Bible® is pretty good about indicating this. Since most of these corrections will be clear in the more literal translations below and within the Hebrew exegesis itself, I will not continue to list every NET Bible® footnote.

New Advent Bible                  And it came to pass after this that Ammon the son of David loved the sister of Absalom the son of David, who was very beautiful, and her name was Thama.

The Scriptures 1998              And after this it came to be that Abshalom son of Dawid? had a lovely sister, whose name was Tamar, and Amnon son of Dawid? loved her.

Literal, almost word-for-word, renderings:

The Amplified Bible                ABSALOM SON of David had a fair sister whose name was Tamar, and Amnon [her half brother] son of David loved her.

Context Group Version          After this, Absalom the son of David had a fair sister, whose name was Tamar; and Amnon the son of David gave allegiance to her.

English Standard Version      Now Absalom, David's son, had a beautiful sister, whose name was Tamar. And after a time Amnon, David's son, loved her.

English Standard V. – UK       Amnon and Tamar

Now Absalom, David's son, had a beautiful sister, whose name was Tamar. And after a time Amnon, David's son, loved her.

exeGeses companion Bible   AMNON AND TAMAR

And so be it, after this,

Abi Shalom the son of David

has a beautiful sister, and her name is Tamar;

and Amnon the son of David loves her;...

LTHB                                     And afterward it happened that Absalom the son of David had a beautiful sister, and her name was Tamar. And Amnon the son of David loved her.

Modern KJV                           And it happened after this Absalom the son of David had a beautiful sister whose name was Tamar. And Amnon the son of David loved her.

New RSV                               Some time passed. David's son Absalom had a beautiful sister whose name was Tamar; and David's son Amnon fell in love with her.

Syndein/Thieme                     And it came to pass after this {after the Fall of Rabah, cursing of the 1st installment of discipline turned into blessing, and a period of prosperity and intake of doctrine that followed}, that Absalom, the son of David, had an 'extremely beautiful' {yapheh} sister, whose name was Tamar.

Updated Bible Version 2.11   And it came to pass after this, that Absalom the son of David had a beautiful sister, whose name was Tamar; and Amnon the son of David loved her.

Young’s Updated LT             And it comes to pass afterwards that Absalom son of David has a fair sister, and her name is Tamar, and Amnon son of David loves her.

The gist of this verse:          One of David’s son, Amnon, has a strong lust for his half-sister Tamar, the sister of Absalom.

Translation: And it was, after these things... Most of Samuel is in chronological order, with a few glosses. Phrases like this indicate that first the incidents which are spoken of in the previous chapter occurred, and then these things happen afterwards.

The order is both logical and chronological. David sins with Bathsheba and has her husband killed (2Sam. 11). Then Nathan speaks to David and causes him to understand that he has sinned (2Sam. 12), which led us into his confession of this sin, in Psalm 51 (HTML) (PDF).

There is an implication that what happened before leads to what will occur in this chapter. David’s sins and lusts lead us to this chapter where he sees them played out with his own family.

I mentioned the term glosses. This is material which was likely added after these chapters were written. A good example of this is 2Sam. 3:2–5, where David’s family is given. It is not clear that they had all been born at the time that this chapter was written. The length of David’s reign, given in 2Sam. 5:4, was likely added after these events occurred and were recorded. Now this in no way detracts from the inspiration of the Scriptures—God simply allowed for these glosses, which could have been added by David at a later time or by Solomon, after his father had died. As mentioned in the footnote, most often, these glosses are simple objective facts.

Translation: ...that David’s son Absalom had [lit., to Absalom] a beautiful sister, and her name [was] Tamar. In this first verse, all of the principle characters of this chapter are introduced: David, Absalom, Amnon and Tamar.

Geshur is a piece of land directly east of the Sea of Galilee (then the Sea of Chinnereth). When David was on the run from Saul, he was nowhere near Geshur. When David ruled over the southern kingdom for 7 years, he would have to go through then central and northern portion to get to Geshur. However, when he ruled over all Israel, then David’s kingdom butted up against Geshur. So, it would seem logical that David, after he became king over all Israel, probably made an alliance with Talmai, the King of Geshur and married his daughter. However, as we have already studied in the introduction, There was a long war between the house of Saul and the house of David. And David grew stronger and stronger, while the house of Saul became weaker and weaker. And sons were born to David at Hebron: his firstborn was Amnon, of Ahinoam of Jezreel; and his second, Chileab, of Abigail the widow of Nabal of Carmel; and the third, Absalom the son of Maacah the daughter of Talmai king of Geshur (2Sam. 3:1–3). So, somehow, David made an alliance with the king of Geshur while he was at war with the house of Saul. We are never given any of the particulars here, as to who made the first move; or how David knew the king of Geshur. We simply know that David’s 3^rd son is Absalom, a grandson of Aramæan royalty.

At the time that David married Maacah, the daughter of Talmai, he already had 2 other wives (Ahinoam and Abigail), so it is reasonable that this is a political marriage and that his father-in-law was cool with a David having several wives (which suggests he also probably had several wives). Whereas, it was culturally acceptable for a king to have many wives, this was not God’s preference (Deut. 17:17).

Like the ruler of any small kingdom, Talmai would have kept up with current events and the nations around him. He knew of the split between northern and southern Israel, between the house of Saul and the house of David, and he probably had known Saul and had met David at one time or another. What appears to be the case is, Talmai picked David as the man who would likely prevail and was determined to set up an alliance with him, as opposed to being allied with the house of Saul. My guess is, Talmai wanted a clear alliance with Israel, believed strongly that David would prevail, and proposed an alliance with David when he was still involved in a civil war. Whether this was a political calculation or a spiritual one, we do not know.

It should be added that Talmai, the king of Geshur, was not a political genius who necessarily studied Saul and David carefully and chose David. Many people were aware that David would become the next king over all Israel. Samuel anointed David as king over all Israel back in 1Sam. 16 and Jonathan recognized that God would remove David’s enemies and impediments to the throne in 1Sam. 20:12–15.

Maacah, daughter of Talmai, was likely very attractive, and she and David had 2 very attractive children, Absalom and Tamar. Absalom appears to have all of the potential of David with his charisma, intelligence and good looks. Tamar is an incredibly beautiful woman who arouses the lusts even in her own half-brothers.

These children are probably all in their teens and early 20's at this time (I lean toward these children as being in their middle teens). This may help you to understand how a chronologer comes up with his date for this time period. We have these children born to David in Hebron in 2Sam. 3; for them to reach a stage in their lives where clearly understand sex and rape, that would be about 20 years later. Since David is facing installment retribution, his sin with Bathsheba would have occurred probably a year or so earlier.

Translation: And [another] son of David’s, Amnon, lusted after her. David’s 2^nd wife, after Michel (who was out of the picture at the time), appears to have been Ahinoam, who was probably a very attractive woman, but not really what David was looking for in a wife and companion (which became even more clear after they married). So David has one son by her (or, one who is named). Amnon is the eldest son, and the heir to the throne because his is David’s firstborn. However, Absalom is born of two royal parents, and has a claim to the throne, bearing that in mind.

Ammon is quite the odd duck here. He is David’s son, heir to the throne; he has his own house. He is probably handsome and intelligent. So Amnon could probably have his choice of a number of different women. However, he is strongly attracted to his half-sister Tamar. As we will find out, that is simply a powerful sexual attraction. It is not the Hebrew word which tells us this, but the text of this chapter. As soon as Amnon has his way with her, he throws her out of his house (v. 17). So, this man is an emotional wreck. He will do anything to scheme to have his way with his half-sister; but then, after he haves her, he hates her (v. 15) and he hates her even more than he desired her. So Amnon is overly-emotional, he is hard-headed, he thinks of no one but himself and his own desires, and he has little or no self-control.

Our verse reads: And it was, after these things that David’s son Absalom had [lit., to Absalom] a beautiful sister, and her name [was] Tamar. And [another] son of David’s, Amnon, lusted after her. The key verb is ʾâhêb (אָהֵב) [pronounced aw-HAYV^B], which means to desire, to breathe after; to love; to delight in; human love [for another] [familial, sexual]; human love [desire, appetite] for [food, drink, sleep, wisdom]; human love [for, to God]; God’s love [toward men, people of Israel, righteousness]; to like. Strong’s #157 BDB #12. Because of Ammon’s treatment of Tamar, before and after he rapes her, I believe that to lust is the proper way to render the final verb.

David could not have been married very long to Ahinoam for very long before he met Abigail and decided, “Hmm, this woman is more my style.” As we have studied back in 1Samuel 25, she was quite an impressive women who, for reasons that we do not know, was hooked up with a worthless husband, Nabal.

These 3 wives, Ahinoam, Abigail and Maacah, do not start having children until David is made king over southern Israel and has his headquarters in Hebron (2Sam. 3:2–3). How does the timing of this work? According to Reese’s chronology, David marries Abigail in 1027 b.c. (1Sam. 25), which suggests that he had already been married to Ahinoam for, say, 6 months to a year. David moves to Philistia after a run-in with Saul and stays there for a year (1Sam. 27). Jonathan and Saul are killed in battle, and David becomes king over southern Israel (1Sam. 31), which would have been in 1025 b.c. (Reese’s chronology). So, we are looking at a year or two of marriage before David’s first two wives begin to have children. As has been deduced, David probably married Maacah while king in southern Israel and had 2 children by her. All of this chapter, logically, takes place about 20 years after the birth of these children. So this chapter takes place about 1005 b.c.; and, according to Reese, 1002 b.c. The chronology and dates can be found here: the Davidic Timeline (HTML) (PDF).

——————————

Here is how others have translated this verse:

Ancient texts:

Latin Vulgate                          And he was exceedingly fond of her, so that he fell sick for the love of her: for as she was a virgin, he thought it hard to do any thing dishonestly with he.

Masoretic Text (Hebrew)        And so he binds up to Amnon to make [himself] sick because of Tamar, his [half-] sister for a virgin [is] she, and so he is difficult, in eyes of Amnon, to do to her anything.

Peshitta (Syriac)                    And Amnon was much grieved on account of his sister Tamar; for she was a virgin; and Amnon felt unable to say anything to he.

Septuagint (Greek)                And Amnon was distressed even to sickness, because of Tamar his sister; for she was a virgin, and it seemed very difficult in the eyes of Amnon to do anything to her.

Significant differences:           Because this is so difficult in the Hebrew, we would expect ancient translations to be freer in their interpretation. In the Latin, we have Amnon being exceedingly font and having love for her, although these words do not appear in the Greek (I base this upon the English translation from the Latin). In the Syriac and Greek, Amnon is treated as the subject of the first verb, which it is not. However, that smooths out the translation.

The Latin leaves out Tamar’s name and the fact that she is Amnon’s half-sister. In the final sentence, the Latin interprets in the eyes of Amnon as he thought it... This is a reasonable interpretation. The English translation of the Syriac has this as Amnon felt.

Thought-for-thought translations; paraphrases:

Common English Bible           Amnon was so upset over his half sister that he made himself sick. She was a virgin, and it seemed impossible in Amnon's view to do anything to her.

Contemporary English V.       But Tamar was a virgin, and Amnon could not think of a way to be alone with her. He was so upset about it that he made himself sick.

Easy English (Pocock)           But Amnon loved her so much that he became ill. Tamar was a young unmarried girl. So, Amnon could not do anything to he.

Easy-to-Read Version            ...was in love with Tamar. Tamar was a virgin [A woman who has not had sexual relations with anyone.]. Amnon did not think he should do anything bad to her. But Amnon wanted her very much. Amnon thought about her so much that he made himself sick [Or, "Amnon thought up a plan to pretend he was sick."].

Good News Bible (TEV)         He was so much in love with her that he became sick, because it seemed impossible for him to have her; as a virgin, she was kept from meeting men.

The Message                         Amnon was obsessed with his sister Tamar to the point of making himself sick over her. She was a virgin, so he couldn't see how he could get his hands on her.

New Berkeley Version           Amnon felt so frustrated about his sister Tamar that is made him ill, because she was a virgin, and it seemed to Amnon impossible to get in touch with her.

New Century Version             Tamar was a virgin. Amnon made himself sick just thinking about her, because he could not find any chance to be alone with her.

New Life Bible                        Amnon was so troubled because of his sister Tamar that he became sick. She was a woman who had never had a man, and Amnon thought how hard it would be to have he.

New Living Translation           Amnon became so obsessed with Tamar that he became ill. She was a virgin, and Amnon thought he could never have her.

Partially literal and partially paraphrased translations:

American English Bible          In fact, he was so smitten with her that he was sick. Tamar (his sister) was a virgin, and AmNon would have done anything to have her.

Ancient Roots Translinear      Amnon troubled and sickened because of his sister Tamar, for she was a virgin. In Amnon's eyes to do anything for her was an accomplishment.

Beck’s American Translation Amnon felt to anxious about his half-sister Tamar he got sick, because she was a birgin and he found it impossible to make love to her.

God’s Word™                         Amnon was so obsessed with his half sister Tamar that he made himself sick. It seemed impossible for him to be alone with her because she was a virgin.

New American Bible              He was in such anguish over his sister Tamar that he became sick; she was a virgin, and Amnon thought it impossible to do anything to her.

NIRV                                      Amnon's sister Tamar was a virgin. It seemed impossible for him to do what he wanted to do with her. But he wanted her so much it almost made him sick.

New Simplified Bible              Tamar was a virgin. Amnon could not think of a way to be alone with her. He was so upset about it that he made himself sick.

Revised English Bible            Amnon was so tormented that he became ill with love for his half-sister, for he thought it an impossible thing to approach her since she was a virgin.

Mostly literal renderings (with some occasional paraphrasing):

Bible in Basic English             And he was so deeply in love that he became ill because of his sister Tamar; for she was a virgin, and so it seemed hard to Amnon to do anything to her.

Complete Jewish Bible           Amnon became so obsessed with his sister Tamar that he became ill, for she was a virgin, and Amnon thought it would be impossible to approach her.

HCSB                                     Amnon was frustrated to the point of making himself sick over his sister Tamar because she was a virgin, but it seemed impossible to do anything to her.

JPS (Tanakh—1985)               Amnon was so distraught because of his [half-]sister Tamar that he became sick; for she was a virgin, and it seemed impossible to Amnon to do anything to her.

NET Bible®                             But Amnon became frustrated because he was so lovesick [Heb "and there was distress to Amnon so that he made himself sick."] over his sister Tamar. For she was a virgin, and to Amnon it seemed out of the question to do anything to her.

New Advent Bible                  And he was exceedingly fond of her, so that he fell sick for the love of her: for as she was a virgin, he thought it hard to do anything dishonestly with her.

Literal, almost word-for-word, renderings:

The Amplified Bible                And Amnon was so troubled that he fell sick for his [half] sister Tamar, for she was a virgin, and Amnon thought it impossible for him to do anything to her.

A Conservative Version         And Amnon was so frustrated that he fell sick because of his sister Tamar. For she was a virgin, and it seemed hard to Amnon to do anything to her.

Context Group Version          And Amnon was so aggravated that he fell sick because of his sister Tamar; for she was a virgin; and it seemed hard to Amnon to do anything to her.

Emphasized Bible                  And it so troubled Amnon, that he made himself ill on account of Tamar his sister, for, a virgin, was she, and it was monstrous in Amnon’s own eyes, to do, anything, unto her.

English Revised Version        And Amnon was so tormented that he made himself ill because of his sister Tamar, for she was a virgin, and it seemed impossible to Amnon to do anything to her.

exeGeses companion Bible   ...and Amnon is so depressed

he falls sick for his sister Tamar;

for she is a virgin;

and it is marvellous in the eyes of Amnon

to work aught to her.

Ferrar-Fenton Bible                ...and Amnon grieved until he made himself ill because of Thamar his cousin, for she was a maiden. But it was difficult in the opinion of Amnon to acquire her in any way.

Heritage Bible                        And Amnon was so distressed that he was worn out on account of his sister, Tamar, because she was a virgin, and it was difficult in the eyes of Amnon to do to her anything..

LTHB                                     And Amnon was distressed, even to becoming sick, because of his sister Tamar. For she was a virgin, and it was hard in the eyes of Amnon to do anything to he.

Modern KJV                           And Amnon was so troubled that he fell sick for his sister Tamar, for she was a virgin. And Amnon thought it hard for him to do anything to her.

New King James Version       Amnon was so distressed over his sister Tamar that he became sick; for she was a virgin. And it was improper for Amnon to do anything to her.

New RSV                               Amnon was so tormented that he made himself ill because of his sister Tamar, for she was a virgin and it seemed impossible to Amnon to do anything to her.

Syndein                                  And Amnon became so frustrated that he made himself ill {lusting} because of his sister Tamar . . .for she was a virgin. {b@thuwlah - a special word for a virgin - meaning that she was not only a literal virgin but one with integrity. She was satisfied with her state and willing to wait for her right man to both marry and have relations with a man} And Amnon considered it impossible to do anything at all to her..

Young’s Updated LT             And Amnon has distress—even to become sick, because of Tamar his sister, for she is a virgin, and it is hard in the eyes of Amnon to do anything to her.

The gist of this verse:          David’s eldest son, Amnon, has allowed his lust for his half-sister to be fixated in his mind to the point that, this consumed his thinking to the point of seeming ill.

Translation: And it is distressing to Amnon to be grieved [or, weakened with sickness] because of Tamar, his half-sister,... The first thing that we need to look at here is the grammar of the Hebrew, which is quite difficult. Amnon is not the subject of the verb but the indirect object of the verb because Amnon is preceded by the lâmed preposition (to, for). So the subject of the verb is somewhat indefinite here, referring back to the situation described in v. 1 (And it was, after these things that David’s son Absalom had [lit., to Absalom] a beautiful sister, and her name [was] Tamar. And [another] son of David’s, Amnon, lusted after her.). So, the situation of having a sister that he lusted after was binding, distressing, stressing or anguish to Amnon. This construction is out of my depth insofar as my knowledge of Hebrew goes, but Keil and Delitzsch render this as literally “it became narrow (anxious) to Amnon, even to making himself ill.” Therefore, I am reasonably confident that I am correctly interpreting this verse, grammatically speaking.

Also, in this portion of v. 2, we have the Hiphil infinitive construct of châlâh (חָלָה) [pronounced chaw-LAW], which means, to make oneself sick [with grief]; to feign sickness [illness]. Strong’s #2470 BDB #317. If you have read ahead, you know that Amnon is going to feign sickness later on in this chapter. He is not feigning sickness right now; nor is he physically ill. The verb has the fundamental meaning to polish, to wear down. Amnon has allowed himself to become so infatuated with Tamar, that he is worn down, grieved, in a state, so to speak. Have you ever seen a woman that, it is difficult to stop staring at her because she is so attractive? Let’s say, she is stimulating to look at, and you cannot hide your obvious interest. Amnon is to that point and beyond. Now, he is the king’s son, the eldest, the one in line for the throne, so he has to have a certain protocol about his life; however, this whole Tamar thing has just put him into a state where he cannot hide his desire for her.

The words found here, along with Amnon’s obsession with Tamar, indicate that he is giving an inordinate amount of time to thinking about his half-sister Tamar. Had he real responsibilities which consumed much of his day, it would have been more difficult for him to obsess as he is. One of the reasons work is such an innate necessity is, it requires us to focus on something other than ourselves. Amnon is able to focus only upon his own desires and the fixation of his desires, Tamar. This fixation borders on a mental illness. At the very least, Amnon is completely and totally self-absorbed, because he only desires Tamar for what she can do for him.

The use of this word châyâh is known as foreshadowing. Amnon will later, in the chapter, make himself sick, in order to get close to Tamar.

Then the Bible does something which we find now and again—it clearly defines the relationships of the people the narrative is about. We saw this way back in Gen. 16:3, where the relationships of Abraham, Sarah and Hagar, their slave-girl, are clearly laid out. They were laid out by God the Holy Spirit because Abraham was about to make a very bad decision and introduce another moving part into his marriage (Hagar, the Egyptian girl). As a slave-girl, she had a place in their family; but not as a surrogate mother. Here, the God the Holy Spirit does the same thing. He indicates that Tamar is Amnon’s sister. So, Amnon may be in this state of great lust, but listen, this is Amnon’s half-sister we are talking about.

Application: There are points at which we need to put on the brakes, so to speak. You may be a teacher with a beautiful student—a student with such beauty and grace, you cannot believe it. However, you are that student’s teacher—your relationship is thus defined, and to change that is to take unfair and sinful advantage of the student. The same thing is true of people in authority in the workplace. You may have a secretary who is the most beautiful doll you have ever seen, but, she is your secretary. Here is when your self-control must kick in. Here is where you recognize that your lust is not the overriding factor, but your relationship is. Obviously, the same thing is true if you are married and you come across a member of the opposite sex that you find incredibly attractive; that person is simply out of bounds, and, believe it or not, you have control over what you think about. The same self-control must be applied if you are attracted to members of your gender or if you find yourself attracted to minor children. Simply having a sexual desire does not mean that you ought to fixate on that sexual desire nor does it mean that you ought to act on that sexual desire. God has made clear the boundaries within which our sexual desires may be expressed: in the confines and boundaries of marriage.

Amnon was exercising very little self-control—almost none. He did not just out and out rape her, but part of this reason was, he could not find a point in time when they are alone together.

As is hinted in this verse, which the strong emotional language and the construction of this sentence (which suggests that Amnon allows himself to be overpowered by his own lust). Amnon is a very emotion young man who is used to being gratified. If he wants something, he generally gets it.

How does this happen? Recall that his mother, Ahinoam, is David’s first wife (David’s actual first wife, Michel, at that time, was out of the picture). So she is pregnant with Amnon or she has this marriage with a wonderful and admired leader, David, and suddenly, David brings home Abigail. “Honey, I’m home, and I brought with me a second wife.” We do not know how exactly this all played out, but Abigail, for many reasons, was more appealing to David, so he brought her home and began to spend more of his time with her. That left Ahinoam as his first wife, but not as valued. So, she has this young man, and she over-compensates, she becomes dependent upon her son’s love, and she completely messes up her son’s development. Ultimately, the responsibility for this is on David’s shoulders, but she, as a responder, had little to respond to in David, so she got this from his son, Amnon, who is David’s spitting image.

So, Amnon is a monster. He is raised mostly by his mother, who was no doubt hurt when David began to bring home new wives; and her female soul responds to Amnon rather than to David. He becomes her little man and her little king; the little man that she teaches no discipline or self-restraint to.

Amnon’s obsessive behavior did not suddenly appear. People do not go from being normal to being obsessive psychopaths overnight. His mother would have observed this behavior and either ignored it or rewarded it. His father, David, observed very little of this behavior because he was king, he had other wives, and therefore, his life was taken up by other responsibilities. In fact, when it came to his wives and children, David simply showed little or no responsibility whatsoever.

Can we excuse David because of the time in which he lived? Many wives was the norm for a king. Here’s the thing: David had studied the Bible—we know this because of the moving of the Ark of God. He tried to do so and it was unsuccessful. He studied the Bible, and then he successfully moved the Ark. So David knew that he was not supposed to multiply wives to himself as a king (Deut. 17:17). David clearly knew where he was falling short of God’s grace; and that is why he is facing this installment discipline or this installment of retribution. David is going to have his nose rubbed in his shortcomings again and again. The end result is, he will settle down with one woman, he will become a good father to his second family, and he will not go out tom-catting after different women. God will cure David’s sexual addiction. Recall, the first installment was the death of his son by Bathsheba and this second installment will be the rape of his daughter Tamar by Amnon.

You may personally have problems with this. You may think, “Why is God allowing all of this evil stuff to occur? How is it right for Tamar to suffer in order for David to be straightened out?” God allows these things to occur; God does not make these things happen. Everything in this chapter is a result of the exercise of David’s free will; Amnon’s free will; Tamar’s free will; and Absalom’s free will. All of this was set into motion because of David’s sexual addiction. My point is, David has caused all of this. David is simply facing the results of everything that he set into motion.

Application: People with power, authority and influence have great responsibility in their actions. When a huge number of Congressmen withdrew monetary support for our soldiers in Vietnam, they set into motion millions of events which resulted in the horrible deaths of millions of people, followed by a spread in communism to all over the world. The evil of that one act of voting by mostly liberal politicians caused some of the greatest suffering ever known throughout the world. Unfortunately, few politicians really witness first-hand the evil of their actions; and they almost always deny the evil of their actions.

In this narrative, David will fully face the consequences of years of bad decisions.

So far, this is what we have in v. 2: And it is distressing to Amnon to be grieved [or, weakened with sickness] because of Tamar, his half-sister,... It appears to be the case the Amnon was physically affected because of his sexual obsession. As R. B. Thieme, Jr. taught in this lesson, Amnon’s arrogance + Amnon’s frustrated = physical illness. Amnon was actually affected physically because of his sexual obsession with Tamar. The mind is very powerful, and what occurs in our thinking can result in real, physical illness. People who are under great stress who cannot handle it are often more susceptible to various illnesses, e.g., the cold or a simple flu. Somehow—we do not know exactly how this works yet—we are mentally capable of reducing our body’s natural resistence to some illnesses.

Translation: ...for she [is] a virgin. God the Holy Spirit further defines the relationships: Tamar is a virgin and she is waiting for her right man. She is a princess, like her mother; and she anticipates marrying royalty. The norms and standards of that day required that a woman be a virgin when married. Even one slip up in the life of such a woman, and marriage was almost out of the question.

The fact that Tamar’s virginity is mentioned gives us a peek into the norms and standards of that time. As we will find out, her virginity is extremely important. In that era, it is apparent that no royal suitor was interested in a woman who was not a virgin.

Amnon was well aware of the social norms of his day. At one time, these were the norms of society in the United States. In fact, when I was a young male, it was common for one to expect to marry a virgin. Because there is such indulgence in our age (I write this in 2011), let me pass on some statistics: 48% of women were virgins at marriage in 1960-64; this dropped precipitously to 21% of the women who married in 1975-79. Even today, if someone poses any question or opinion on the internet about virginity and marriage, there will be a flurry of respondents, and a significant number of them in favor of marrying as a virgin. The statistics I have heard most lately suggest that only 1 woman in 20 is a virgin at marriage. However, a change which occurs in society does not make that which is wrong right, or vice versa. It is still God’s plan for all sexual exploration and gratification to take place within the confines of marriage.

In any case, Amnon knew that Tamar was not going to simply fool around because that was far outside of the norms of that time and place.

What should be also noted is, Amnon at no time thinks about Tamar’s soul. Amnon does not know what Tamar thinks, how she feels about this or that, what she likes and what she dislikes. He knows that she is a virgin, which would be expected, but he does not know what is in her soul. A real relationship is based upon a coalition of two souls, not the coalition of two bodies. As Miss Manners writes: A gentleman and a lady both pretend that they are cultivating each other for common interests, shared humor, or whatever—and then they both act surprised when passion strikes them like lightning. This shock is considered exciting by proper ladies and gentlemen, who regard instant matings, based on the idea that we all have standard parts that may be fitted together interchangeably, to be dull as well as distasteful.

At first, the impression is, Amnon has this great puppy dog crush on Tamar, despite being her half-brother. However, it is going to become apparent that, whatever age Amnon happens to be, this is not an innocent crush. He has a great lust for Tamar, but he cares nothing for her soul or for her person. As we will find out, after he rapes her, he will throw her outside, not the least concerned for her well-being, her mental state or her future. Amnon wants self-gratification and nothing else, a fact which will become clear as we continue in this chapter.

Amnon is an arrogance man-boy. He is incapable of love. He has his desires, his “needs” and he has no thought or consideration for others. This will become quite clear as this chapter plays out. It will also become clear that David has a blind side when it comes to his children. He is unable to see them for what they really are. This is probably a lot of guilt compounded with his own sexual arrogance.

Translation: Therefore, it is impossible, in the eyes of Amnon, to do anything to her. Because Tamar is a virgin, and because virginity was expected, particularly in a royal marriage, Tamar was protected and it would be rare for her to be alone with any male. By the Mosaic Law, if a woman came to the marriage bed, but was not a virgin and was hated by her husband for that reason, she could be stoned to death (Deut. 22:16–21). So, there would be no lax social time where Amnon and his virgin half-sister would be spending any time alone together.

It appears as if Tamar is nearly under lock and key. At this point in her life, she apparently does not go out and she is never left alone with a man. There don’t appear to be socials going on, where young people can slip away. Maacah, Tamar’s mother, appears to be protecting her. So, there is no point at which Amnon can envision a time where they might be alone together. Tamar is watched over and protected and she is not going be to allowed to be alone with any of her half-siblings. She is not being protected from Amnon per se; she is being protected from all young men like Amnon.

Amnon has obviously thought about this situation on many occasions, and, in his opinion, the chances of him having a relationship with Tamar were nil.

There seems to be no implication here of a relationship, a marriage, or anything like that. His lust may seem so great to him that, he might even view a long-term relationship with her as ideal; but, the reality is very different. However, we do not know what he is thinking, apart from having a great lust for his sister and a desire for self-gratification, at any cost.

This verse reads: And it is distressing to Amnon to be grieved [or, weakened with sickness] because of Tamar, his half-sister, for she [is] a virgin. Therefore, it is impossible, in the eyes of Amnon, to do anything to her. We do not know much about Tamar at this point. What I suspect is, once these children began to reach puberty, Tamar was protected and kept under lock and key. She was simply not allowed to freely associate with her half-brothers. We do not know how smart she was or how perceptive she was. However, as a general rule, girls tend to mature more quickly than boys; and Tamar’s mother was royalty; therefore, it is reasonable to assume that she received better training than Amnon did. Kids, when they interact, often recognize character flaws, although they may not specifically verbalize them. You may have a childhood friend, and that friend may do some things which you recognize as wrong. At this point, you are tested as to your own training. Do you go along with them because they are your friend, or do you step back from the activity? My guess is, if Tamar had any early exposure to Amnon, she probably recognized that this boy was flawed.

As a teacher, I recall one of my good girls coming up to me and talking about a date that she had with one of my bad boys. She understood immediately some of the choices that she faced and that this young man wanted to influence her to do wrong. I don’t recall any of the specifics, but I do recall that she understood that this was a guy who wanted to do that which was wrong and influence her in the same way. I recall the young man because he routinely cheated on my tests and I had the toughest time catching him doing it. I probably would have not even realized it if he were not such an arrogant little snot to tried to rub my nose in it (that he cheated and I did not catch him). My point is, this young lady recognized that this young man had serious character flaws. So, it is very possible that Tamar recognized the character flaws of Amnon, depending upon whether they spent time together in their youth or not.

Again, this verse reads: And it is distressing to Amnon to be grieved [or, weakened with sickness] because of Tamar, his half-sister, for she [is] a virgin. Therefore, it is impossible, in the eyes of Amnon, to do anything to her. We are told essentially one thing about Tamar that Amnon knows, that she is a virgin. I would assume that this is a result of knowing the norms and standards of that day; but it ought to strike you as odd that this would be mentioned. We are seeing this, to some degree, from Amnon’s viewpoint, and it is possible—this seems to be partly what might be suggested here—is that Amnon has the odd kink of desiring to deflower a virgin. Whether this figures into the narrative or not is a matter of speculation; however, her virginity is mentioned here in relationship to Amnon. What is suggested is, he sees this as a game; he sees this as reaching some sort of goal. Again, Tamar’s feelings are never considered. What she thinks about all of this is never deemed important by Amnon. As R. B. Thieme, Jr. said (I am paraphrasing), arrogant men are stimulated and gratified from sexually abusing a woman. Such men desire to rape, humiliate and/or deflower women. Women are seen only as objects of their pleasure and they never consider a relationship as a two-way street. Such arrogance is incapable of love. What Amnon says and what he does will indicate that, despite his obsession with Tamar, he actually has very little interest in her. He is probably incapable of having a normal male-female relationship.

Furthermore, arrogant men are often overly competitive men. There is nothing wrong with competition; but arrogant men seem to be incapable of turning it off. They are inordinately competitive. So, they are competitive in a relationship with others, always trying to show that they are better in this way or that. Or they are competitive in this situation of desiring to be the first man to take Tamar. As R. B. Thieme, Jr. said (again, this is paraphrased), Arrogance will always despise that which arrogance can conquer. Whether in sex or in business or in athletics or in any field of competition in life, arrogance despises what it conquers. You cannot have any kind of a relationship with an arrogant person. One of the reasons we know Amnon to be arrogant is, his obsession with Tamar is increased by the fact that she is so unobtainable. Let me give you an example: it is okay to find a movie star attractive. Jennifer Lopez is a beautiful woman and it is normal for a male to acknowledge this. However, when the same man has an obsession with her, and has an excessive interest in her, and tries in some way to meet her—that is arrogance. The fact of her being unattainable, when this actually increases a person’s interest, indicates that person is particularly arrogant.

Here is what we have so far: And it was, after these things that David’s son Absalom had [lit., to Absalom] a beautiful sister, and her name [was] Tamar. And [another] son of David’s, Amnon, lusted after her. And it is distressing to Amnon to be grieved [or, weakened with sickness] because of Tamar, his half-sister, for she [is] a virgin. Therefore, it is impossible, in the eyes of Amnon, to do anything to her. Amnon is miserable. Amnon has never been taught any empathy; he has not been taught any self-discipline; he has not been taught to put off his desires until tomorrow. Children who are raised without training and self-discipline grow up to be miserable teens and miserable adults. Amnon is clearly unhappy and frustrated, and even when he gets what he wants, his unhappiness will not change.

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Amnon Rapes Tamar: the Planning, which Involves King David

Here is how others have translated this verse:

Ancient texts:

Latin Vulgate                          Now Ammon had a friend, named Jonadab the son of Semmaa the brother of David, a very wise man.

Masoretic Text (Hebrew)        And to Amnon an associate and his name [is] Jonadab ben Shimeah, brother of David. And Jonadab [is] a man of intelligence very.

Peshitta (Syriac)                    But Amnon had a friend whose name was Jonadab, the son of Shimeah David's brother; and Jonadab was a very wise man.

Septuagint (Greek)                Now Amnon had a friend, and his name was Jonadab, the son of Shimeah the brother of David: and Jonadab was a very cunning man.

Significant differences:           The second phrase is not translated exactly in the English translation of the Latin and Syriac.

Thought-for-thought translations; paraphrases:

Contemporary English V.       Amnon had a friend named Jonadab, who was the son of David's brother Shimeah. Jonadab always knew how to get what he wanted,...

Easy English (Pocock)           But Amnon had a friend called Jonadab. He was the son of David's brother Shimeah. Jonadab was a very clever man.

Easy-to-Read Version            Amnon had a friend named Jonadab son of Shimeah. (Shimeah was David’s brother.) Jonadab was a very clever man.

The Message                         Amnon had a good friend, Jonadab, the son of David's brother Shimeah. Jonadab was exceptionally streetwise.

New Berkeley Translation      But Amnon had a friend named Jonadab, the son of David’s brother Shimeah, and Jonadab was a shrewd person.

New Life Bible                        But Amnon had a friend whose name was Jonadab. He was the son of David's brother Shimeah. And Jonadab was very good at making plans.

New Living Translation           But Amnon had a very crafty friend-his cousin Jonadab. He was the son of David's brother Shimea [Hebrew Shimeah (also in 13:32), a variant spelling of Shimea; compare 1 Chr 2:13.].

Partially literal and partially paraphrased translations:

American English Bible          Well, AmNon had a friend named JoNadab (the son of SamaA, David's brother). And JoNadab was a very wise man.

Ancient Roots Translinear      Amnon had a neighbor, named Jonadab, the son of Shimeah David's brother. Jonadab was a very wise man.

Beck’s American Translation But Amnon had a friend by the name of Jonadab, a son of Shimea, David’s brother. Jonadab was a very smart man.

New Simplified Bible              Amnon had a friend named Jonadab. He was the son of David’s brother Shimeah. Jonadab usually knew how to get what he wanted.

Today’s NIV                          Now Amnon had an adviser named Jonadab son of Shimeah, David's brother. Jonadab was a very shrewd man.

Mostly literal renderings (with some occasional paraphrasing):

Bible in Basic English             But Amnon had a friend whose name was Jonadab, the son of Shimeah, David's brother: and Jonadab was a very wise man.

Complete Jewish Bible           But Amnon had a friend named Yonadav the son of Shim'ah David's brother; and Yonadav was a very shrewd fellow.

JPS (Tanakh—1985)               Amnon had a friend named Jonadab, the son of David’s brother Shimah; Jonadab was a very clever man.

Literal, almost word-for-word, renderings:

A Conservative Version         But Amnon had a friend whose name was Jonadab, the son of Shimeah, David's brother. And Jonadab was a very sly man.

English Standard Version      But Amnon had a friend, whose name was Jonadab, the son of Shimeah, David's brother. And Jonadab was a very crafty man.

exeGeses companion Bible   And Amnon has a friend,

and his name is Yah Nadab the son of Shimah

the brother of David;

and Yah Nadab is a mighty wise man:

Heritage Bible                        And to Amnon was a friend, whose name was Jonadab, the son of Shimeah, David’s brother, and Jonadab was a very skillful man..

LTHB                                     And Amnon had a friend, and his name was Jonadab the son of Shimeah, David's brother. And Jonadab was a very shrewd man.

Syndein                                  Now Amnon had an intimate friend {a cousin}, whose name was Jonadab, the son of David's brother Shimea. And Jonadab was a man of extreme cunning.

Third Millennium Bible            But Amnon had a friend whose name was Jonadab, the son of Shimeah David's brother; and Jonadab was a very subtle man.

World English Bible                But Amnon had a friend, whose name was Jonadab, the son of Shimeah, David's brother; and Jonadab was a very subtle man.

Young’s Updated LT             And Amnon has a friend, and his name is Jonadab, the son of Shimeah, David”s brother, and Jonadab is a very wise man,.

The gist of this verse:          Amnon has a friend, Jonadab, who is David’s nephew.

Translation: Amnon has [lit., to Amnon] an associate... What Amnon has a friend; but one must understand, that in order to have a true friend, one needs to have a true capacity for friendship. Criminals can pal around together and call one another brother, but, when the situation calls for it, one often turns on the other. So Amnon knows people, and they are probably very much like him—lacking in character.

Translation: ...whose [lit., and his name] name [is] Jonadab, the son of Shimeah, David’s brother. David had several brothers, and most of them were worthless. Shimeah is the third eldest child of Jesse. We barely ever see David’s brothers in Scripture, and, when we do, they are generally portrayed in a negative light. So, we have a man probably without character (Shimeah) having a son. What are the changes that this son lacks character as well?

When I was a teacher, and I had a problem kid, when I met the parents, the reason that this kid was a problem was quite obvious. He had lousy parents. They either indulged him, had no control over him, and/or had no clue as to what this kid was like. I remember one conference with parents and several others, and I pointed out that their kid drew marijuana leaves on everything—on all of his school folders—and I told them, this is your problem, your kid is smoking too much dope. Well, not only were they shocked that I said this, but so were some administrators who were there as well. The parents were unable to see their own child with even a modicum of objectivity.

Shimeah, David’s brother, is never shown to have any personal honor; there is never any greatness that the Bible recognizes in him; so his son, Jonadab, is probably equally deficient in character.

It is reasonable to ascertain that Amnon, being of low character, would have sought out a friendship with someone else who was of low character, under the principle that water seeks its own level. When we read about what Amnon does to Tamar, we will conclude that Amnon was a lousy human being who deserved to die. However, later on in this chapter, we are going to see Jonadab also attempt to manipulate additional circumstances in order for him to gain the favor of David. In fact, Jonadab is going to allow his friend Amnon to be killed, and he will use his death in order to try to manipulate David the king. However, with David, it won’t work. David will not allow himself to be manipulated.

David has 3 great nephews (or, had in the case of one). Joab, Asahel and Abishai, all by David’s sister Zeruiah. They have become his generals and these are brave and tough men (Asahel was killed by Abner back in 2Sam. 2). However, Jonadab is not a part of David’s army. Jonadab hangs out with Amnon and, apparently, they spend much of their time thinking of evil stuff to do.

It is very possible the Jonadab discovered, early on, that Amnon is deficient when it comes to thinking, and Jonadab likes that. Here is the next king, he isn’t too bright, and he likes hanging out with Jonadab. Jonadab will be able to use that to his own advantage. Amnon will use Jonadab to his advantage, because he can think up stuff that Amnon could not.

Translation: And Jonadab is a very intelligent man. As noted in the Hebrew exegesis above, the intelligence of this man can be used for good or for evil. Even though this is exactly the same word used for wise in Proverbs, here, the use of this word is not necessarily a great compliment. It should be obvious that many men are wise; but what they use their wisdom for is far more important. As we will find, Jonadab was quite adept at manipulating people and situations.

It is Jonadab who is going to teach Amnon how to manipulate the situation so that he can be alone with Tamar. Now, why are we introduced to him? This is because David, after he had taken Bathsheba, tried to manipulate her husband into being with his wife while his brothers were at war. What we see is, all this evil that David did comes back on him. The same things that he did against Uriah and Bathsheba were done to him.

It is clear that Jonadab wants power and influence, but he recognizes that, on his own, there is no way that he can attain these things. However, through Amnon, he has his door to power, influence and wealth. If he becomes the chief advisor to the king (and Amnon is next in line for the throne), then Jonadab gains all of those things, but with very little work. He just puts himself in a position to advise Amnon, and, as we will find out, his advice is both evil and brilliant. He will set up a situation where it is clear David will actually order his virgin daughter to spend time with Amnon—time that could potentially involve them being alone together. Furthermore, if you read this for yourself, you will not understand just how brilliant Jonadab’s plan will be.

We do not know how this information got out—that Jonadab would advise Amnon how to get his sister alone. However, God the Holy Spirit saw to it that either Jonadab or Amnon revealed this information; or that one of Amnon’s servants—loyal to David—after the fact, realized what had happened and told David. My theory is, after the rape of Tamar occurred, David began a half-hearted investigation, which then petered out. That Jonadab had something to do with this probably came out in the investigation. However, all of that is just speculation. Whoever wrote this history would have had access to this information in some way or another.

I tend to land on the side of non-supernatural when it is reasonable. This does not mean that I believe that God is impotent, but that He does not often overrule the laws of the world that He put into motion. For this reason, I would take the position that whoever wrote these words came upon the details of this narrative in a very natural manner. God the Holy Spirit did not sit on his shoulder dictating to him this chapter word by word and verse by verse. At the same time, the stamp of divinity of God the Holy Spirit is found on each and every word and on each and every phrase. In this way, everything in this narrative is both fully human, gathered with normal and natural means; and fully divine, inspired by God the Holy Spirit. See the various doctrines of inspiration linked to from here. David, in a superficial investigation, questioning some of Amnon’s servants, probably put this together.

——————————

Here is how others have translated this verse:

Ancient texts:

Latin Vulgate                          And he said to him: Why do you grow so lean from day to day, O son of the king? why do you not tell me the reason of it? And Ammon said to him: I am in love with Thamar the sister of my brother Absalom.

Masoretic Text (Hebrew)        And so he says to him, “Why [are] you so listless, O son of the king, in the morning in the morning? [Will] you not make [this] known to me?” And so says to him Amnon, “Tamar, sister of Absalom my brother I am desiring.”

Peshitta (Syriac)                    And he said to Amnon, O son of the king why are you so losing weight from day to day? Will you not tell me? And Amnon said to him, I love Tamar, my brother Absalom's sister.

Septuagint (Greek)                And he said to him, What ails you, that you are weak like this? O son of the king, morning by morning? Will you not tell me? And Amnon said, I love Tamar the sister of my brother Absalom.

Significant differences:           Amnon is not found in the first phrase, but added in the Syriac probably for clarity. In the morning in the morning is no doubt an idiom for day after day, every single day, morning after morning; which explains the idiomatic translations above.

In the final sentence, to him is not found in the Greek.

Thought-for-thought translations; paraphrases:

Christian Community Bible     “Oh son of the king, why do you look so miserable morning after morning? Will you not tell me?” Amnon replied, “I love Tamar, sister of my brother Absalom.”

Common English Bible           ."Prince," Jonadab said to him, "why are you so down, morning after morning? Tell me about it."

So Amnon told him, "I'm in love with Tamar, the sister of my brother Absalom."

Contemporary English V.       ...and he said to Amnon, "What's the matter? You're the king's son! You shouldn't have to go around feeling sorry for yourself every morning." Amnon said, "I'm in love with Tamar, my brother Absalom's sister."

Easy-to-Read Version            Jonadab said to Amnon, “Every day you look thinner and thinner! You are the king’s son! {You have plenty to eat, so why are you losing weight?} Tell me!”

Good News Bible (TEV)         Jonadab said to Amnon, "You are the king's son, yet day after day I see you looking sad. What's the matter?" "I'm in love with Tamar, the sister of my half brother Absalom," he answered.

The Message                         He said to Amnon, "Why are you moping around like this, day after day--you, the son of the king! Tell me what's eating at you." "In a word, Tamar," said Amnon. "My brother Absalom's sister. I'm in love with her."

New Berkeley Translation      He observed to him, “Why this wasting away morning after morning, you king’s son; would you not tell me?” Amnon confessed to him,”It is Tamar, sister of my brother Absalom; I am in love with her!”

New Century Version             He asked Amnon, "Son of the king, why do you look so sad day after day? Tell me what's wrong!"

Amnon told him, "I love Tamar, the sister of my half-brother Absalom."

New Living Translation           One day Jonadab said to Amnon, "What's the trouble? Why should the son of a king look so dejected morning after morning?"

So Amnon told him, "I am in love with Tamar, my brother Absalom's sister."

Partially literal and partially paraphrased translations:

American English Bible          Then JoNadab asked AmNon, 'Why are you so puny every morning, O son of the king. tell me what's wrong.'

And AmNon, told him, 'It's Tamar, my brother AbSalom's sister. I love her.'.

Ancient Roots Translinear      He said to him, "Why are you, the king's son, poor from morning to morning and you tell me nothing?" Amnon said to him, "I love Tamar, my brother Absalom's sister.

Beck’s American Translation “Why are you, the king’s son, so haggard morning after morning?” he asked him. “Won’t you tell me?”

“I’m in love with Tamar, Absalom’s sister,” he answered.

God’s Word™                         He asked Amnon, "Why are you, the king's son, so worn out morning after morning? Won't you tell me?" "I'm in love with Absalom's sister Tamar," he answered.

NIRV                                      He asked Amnon, "You are the king's son, aren't you? So why do you look so worn out every morning? Won't you tell me?"

Amnon answered, "I'm in love with Tamar. She's the sister of my brother Absalom."

New Simplified Bible              Jonadab said to Amnon: »You are the king’s son. Even so day after day I see you looking sad. What is the problem?« Amnon answered: »I am in love with Tamar, the sister of my half brother Absalom.«

Revised English Bible            ...and he said to Amnon, ‘Why are you, the king’s son, so low-spirited morning after morning? Will you not tell me?’ Amnon told him that he was in love with Tamar, his brother Absalom’s sister.

Mostly literal renderings (with some occasional paraphrasing):

Bible in Basic English             And he said to him, O son of the king, why are you getting thinner day by day? will you not say what your trouble is? And Amnon said to him, I am in love with Tamar, my brother Absalom's sister.

HCSB                                     ...and he asked Amnon, "Why are you, the king's son, so miserable every morning? Won't you tell me?" Amnon replied, "I'm in love with Tamar, my brother Absalom's sister.".

JPS (Tanakh—1985)               He asked him, “Why are you so dejected, O prince, morning after morning? Tell me!” Amnon replied, “I am in love with Tamar, the sister of my brother Absalom!”

Judaica Press Complete T.    And he said to him, "Why are you becoming so thin, O' son of the king, from morning to morning? Will you not tell me?" And Amnon said to him, "I love Tamar, the sister of Absalom."

NET Bible®                             He asked Amnon [Heb "and he said to him."], "Why are you, the king's son [An more idiomatic translation might be "Why are you of all people.?"], so depressed every morning? Can't you tell me?" So Amnon said to him, "I'm in love with Tamar the sister of my brother Absalom."

New Advent Bible                  And he said to him: Why do you grow so lean from day to day, O son of the king? Why do you not tell me the reason of it? And Ammon said to him: I am in love with Thamar the sister of my brother Absalom.

Literal, almost word-for-word, renderings:

The Amplified Bible                He said to Amnon, Why are you, the king's son, so lean and weak-looking from day to day? Will you not tell me? And Amnon said to him, I love Tamar, my [half] brother Absalom's sister.

Concordant Literal Version    And he said to him, Why, O son of the king, are thou emaciated this way from day to day? Will thou not tell me? And Amnon said to him, I love Tamar, my brother Absalom's sister.

Updated Emphasized Bible    So he said to him,—Why are you looking so wretched—a king”s son too—morning by morning? Will you not tell me? And Amnon said to him, With Tamar, my brother Absolom”s sister, am I in love.

English Standard Version      And he said to him, "O son of the king, why are you so haggard morning after morning? Will you not tell me?" Amnon said to him, "I love Tamar, my brother Absalom's sister."

exeGeses companion Bible   and he says to him,

Why are you, the son of the sovereign,

so poor morning by morning?

Why not tell me?

And Amnon says to him,

I love Tamar the sister of my brother Abi Shalom.

Ferrar-Fenton Bible                ...so he asked him, “Why, now, are you like this? A king’s son downhearted morning after morning! Why not tell me?”

So Amnon said to him, “It is about Thamar, the cousin of Absalom, whom I love!”.

Heritage Bible                        And he said to him, Why are you, the king’s son, just dangling in need from dawn to dawn? Will you not cause it to stand out boldly to me? And Amnon said to him, I love Tamar, the sister of Absalom, my brother..

Syndein                                  {The Weak Prince} And he {Jonadab} 'said to'/'inquisited to gain advantage over' him, "O 'son of the King' {a formal title of the crown prince (next in line to the throne)}, why are you so depressed . . . morning after morning? {when the arrogant are frustrated, they become depressed} Will you not tell me?" And Amnon replied unto him, "I am in love with Tamar . . . my brother Absalom's sister." {'love' in itself is nothing - it is only as good as the character of the person who utters the phrase. So, here it just means this arrogant prince has found an object of his self-gratification - to satisfy his narcissus syndrome or maybe she is just a challenge}.

Webster’s Bible Translation  And he said to him, Why [art] thou, [being] the king's son, pining from day to day? wilt thou not tell me? And Amnon said to him, I love Tamar, my brother Absalom's sister.

Young’s Updated LT             And he says to him, “Why are you thus lean, O king”s son, morning by morning? Do you not declare to me?” And Amnon says to him, “Tamar—sister of Absalom my brother—I am loving.”

The gist of this verse:          Jonadab asks Amnon why he is so despondent. Amnon tells him that he desires his half-sister Tamar.